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It’s a rite of passage for president and poseur alike: an extended AMA (Ask Me Anything) session over on the landfill of pop culture called Reddit, perhaps more commonly known as the place BuzzFeed steals all its crappiest ideas from. Twitter genius Bret Easton Ellis touches down this afternoon at 3 p.m. EST, according to the author himself. Below, some ideas about what to ask him.

Oh IFC, you devils! Now we will all in fact get to see the glorious disaster that is The Canyons. I was worried for a moment there that this brilliant piece of filth would flutter off into oblivion and never see the harsh light of day but alas, we're saved!

The album art for L.A. duo Kisses’ sophomore album, the apparently autobiographical Kids in LA, is a bit like Bret Easton Ellis filtered through a Wes Anderson lens. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the first single, “The Hardest Part,” is a song that would be on the soundtrack of the twee version of American Psycho. Perish the thought.

Paul Schrader once said, "What fascinates me are people who want to be one thing but who behave in a way contradictory to that. Who might say, ‘I want to be happy, but I keep doing things that make me unhappy.' He's always been a man of contradictions and juxtapositions—whether's it's been within himself or in his films. Schrader wanted to be happy but would sleep with a load gun in his mouth; Travis Bickle wanted love but frightened people away.

Duncan Sheik, the '90s singer-songwriter ("Barely Breathing," in case you needed a reminder or, more likely, a name attached to that song), won two Tony Awards for his work on the sexy German schoolchildren musical Spring Awakening a few years ago. And he's trying his hand at musical theater once again, this time with an adaptation of Bret Easton Ellis's modern classic, American Psycho. The musical will hit the London stage later this year, and hopefully will get a run on Broadway.

Like we've said before, The Canyons appears to be a disaster. Directed by the man who gave us one of the seminal films of the last 50 years with Taxi Driver, Paul Schrader, and penned by satirical writer of yuppie melodrama turned Twitter-bully, Bret Easton Ellis, word on the film has been anything but hopeful. And with the slew of ridiculous promotional trailers popping up in every genre, little has been left for desire with this one.

And here I thought—well okay, nothing could possibly be worse than The Informers. But I think I may have just spoken too soon. By now we've all had a chance to read the wonderfully in-depth New York Times article that dives into the production of Bret Easton Ellis and Paul Schrader's upcoming drama, The Canyons. In the article, we gain insight into both the distressing motives of the film, Lindsay Lohan's constant battles, and even Steven Soderbergh being turned down to edit the film. However, one shining detail remains: this looks awful. And the promotional teasers for the film are only making things worse.

Holy cow, Solange. Sure, we've been paying a lot of attention to Beyoncé's moves lately, and it seems like her kid sister didn't want to stand in her shadow too much longer. Last night, the singer-songwriter attended last night’s Girls premiere party in a Just Cavalli patterned suit. You have our attention, Solange. We’ll spend the afternoon listening to “Losing You” on a loop. [MTV Style]

Paul Schrader is a fucked up dude. The first time he saw a film in theaters (as a teenager) he hallucinated and ran out screaming. When he was little, his mother used to poke him in the hand with a needle if he was bad and tell him that this is what hell would be like for an eternity. He used to sleep with a loaded .38 in his mouth. Once, while writing a film, he couldn’t quite get into the guilty headspace of the character so he drove out to Vegas and tried to lose all his money. Not feeling that he quite nailed it on the way home, he ditched his car. Also, for a while there in the '70s, his kitchen counter cutting board was always adorned with a brass crown of thorns and loaded gun at all times. His strict Calvinist upbringing left an obvious impact on him and his work, and he embraces cinema as a way to expose his darkest desires and impulses. His characters are always morally torn and struggling between what is forbidden and what one must do. He puts his sins on paper as a way to relieve himself of them. And naturally, he’s always been a cinematic hero of mine.

Well, finally! It's the movie we've all been waiting for: Lindsay Lohan and James Deen, sexin' and boozin' and druggin' all along to a script penned by novelist / Twitter enthusiast Bret Easton Ellis. (Also, children, it's directed by a pretty famous guy named Paul Schrader. Look him up on Wikipedia.) Two things are certain from the trailer, which you can watch below. One: "camp" is in, and even straight guys are all over it. Two: Paul Schrader finally caught on to that whole "Tarantinoesque" thing that happened about ten years ago. This should be fun! Fun to watch on DVD, am I right? So you guys go ahead and watch this silly little trailer and I'll go off and forget that I don't have any movies coming out soon.