● As a wedding present of sorts, Britney Spears's father, Jamie, is giving up his long-held conservatorship, leaving Brit in full control of her finances and business decisions. [Page Six]

● Britney Spears got engaged to her boyfriend Jason Trawick last night in Las Vegas. [TMZ]

Every so often, an emblematic performer or person of significance hits a milestone birthday, and everyone freaks out. They reach an age with a zero on the end of it, and we start to reminisce about a bygone era, and wonder how time moved so fast. Today, Britney Spears turns 30, and it doesn’t seem like one of those times.

● Harvey Weinstein says that, assuming My Week With Marilyn does well in theaters, he would like to adapt the movie to Broadway where he thinks Katy Perry would just kill it as the screen icon. For some reason. [E!]

During last night’s Republican presidential debate, Rick Perry made a mistake that many have called “a gaffe of Quayle-ian proportions” (no one besides us has said that, but we hope it sticks). Perry boldly announced that he would cut three federal agencies after being elected, “Commerce, education, and, um, let’s see, what’s the third one there?”  After a long pause and some more stumbling, another debater off screen fills him in on his own plan to cut the EPA. Naturally, when someone experiences a campaign-ending mental lapse, the next logical step is to channel Britney Spears, which Perry did today.

● "I love dinner," said Jimmy Kimmel, expressing his excitement after being named host of this year's White House Correspondents' Dinner. [People] ● Just like the rest of us, Kris Humphries found out about his divorce on TMZ. Scooped! [DailyBeast] ● Jessica Simpson used her Halloween costume to confirm what we all already knew: "That's right, I'm going to be a mummy," she wrote on her website because, duh, she's pregnant! [JessicaSimpson]

● Have you read Mike Albo's "The Junket" yet? Why not? It lovingly details Albo's career as a freelance writer, how the New York Times made an example out of him for going on a Thrillist swag trip, and his love/hate/love relationship with commercialism in general. Worth it. [Amazon] ● Jay-Z and Kanye are putting the DIY-ed Maybach from their Spike Jonez*-helmed "Otis" video up for auction to benefit famine victims in the Horn of Africa. We'd also be interested in bidding on Jay-Z's pocket brooch or on one of Ye's two watches. Just saying. [Act MTV] ● iCarly star Miranda Cosgrove broke her ankle in a tour bus accident. Everybody else on the bus was fine, but Cosgrove's injury means she has to postpone the rest of her "Dancing Crazy" tour. Sorry kids. [People]

Britney Spears' new video for "I Wanna Go" is a mess, plain and simple. Britney, sporting a bastardized version of her "...Baby One More Time" outfit and a truly busted weave, daydreams herself out of a press conference and onto the street, where she flashes little kids and hooks up with a policeman. Why is she holding a press conference? Unclear. Why are some people in this video actually cyborgs? No idea. And couldn't they have found a hotter guy for her to go off with at the end, and better looking fake hair for her to wear?

Beyonce lit up the Billboard Music Awards last night with a well-choreographed performance of her girl power anthem "Run The World(Girls)" that made Britney’s two cameo appearances that much more painful to watch. Brit did a lot of swaying and awkward singing for Rihanna’s opening performance of “S&M,” and more of the same during her stage time with Nicki Minaj for “Super Bass/Till The World Ends."

● Just twelve hours after Rihanna tweeted about a "#sexy collabo," we have this: Britney Spears is joining Rihanna on a remix of her "Hit Me Baby..." anthem, "S&M." Happy Monday, one and all. [Z100] ● Rumor has it that Snooki and the "core members" of the Shore cast have negotiated their per-episode salary up to six figures. As the New York Times points out, Snooki might be worth the extra zeroes. If you are finding this math unsettling, we welcome you to stop watching any time. [EW] ● If Bernie Madoff's Danielle Steele habit tells us anything, it's that things might be getting a little lonely in that cell. [Financial Times]