Sometimes people say nice things about my clubbing career, citing successful clubs as proof of an outstanding legacy. Some might say I started this or that, or was the first here or there. The legacy that I am most proud of is the success of those who worked with me, and a group of co-workers that became lifelong friends that I refer to as my family. Most of these folks met and lived at my joint Life, and are indeed brothers and sisters to this day. Sadly, most live out in Venice, California, rearing gorgeous babies, hiking, and cooking meals for each other. It's only a matter of time until I, too, bask by the Pacific. This week members of my clan, Robert Escalera and Patty Doria, return to the East for a soiree to benefit Zeno Mountain Farm.

Let's clear the air: we know there's something slightly uncomfortable about, say, Kiehls donating a dollar to Haitian relief efforts for every Tweet they get. You can't buy 10,000 Tweets, but Kiehls gets to donate $10K -- which, to them, isn't that much -- and they get good publicity. But, for once, we're not going to be overly cynical about this kind of thing. At the end of the day, Haitians need money, and, unfortunately, they're going to be needing it for some time to come. So we're gonna do our part, too. For every subscription to BlackBook that's purchased through the end of February, $5 -- 25% of the subscription price -- will go to the American Red Cross. Will we benefit from this in some way? Absolutely. We want people to read our magazine and download our iPhone app -- and we also want to help Haiti. We hope you'll be a part of it.

James Ellroy has some advice. This is it: “Observe the civil contract. Don’t drink, smoke or do drugs. Address everyone as Mr. and Mrs. I’ll pay you to have your tattoos removed. Don’t say dumb shit like ‘like, it’s like, whatever.’ Don’t read movie reviews. Go see the movie and decide for yourself. Be respectful. The quickest way to sound like a dipshit is to call a respected filmmaker you don’t personally know Marty.” This was just one of the marvelously frank and dead-on pieces of wisdom imparted by the self-identified “demon dog of American literature” at a reading and interview held last night at the New York Public Library and hosted by the Young Lions.

Today, in wackadoo press releases: this Saturday at the Armani Exchange in New York from 2—4PM, 'Vanessa' (Jessica Szohr) from Gossip Girl and 'Victory Ford' (Lindsay Price) from Lipstick Jungle are going to be giving away kisses. Yes: your favorite New York Observer-reading, Communitea-employed, de-facto Humphrey family member (and once-lover of Nate Archibald...not that I watch or anything) will be (supposedly) giving out kisses for cash in a "Kissing Booth" of sorts.