● Chris Brown will return to the Grammys this year -- and as a preformer, no less -- for the first time since his infamous and almost career-stunting fight with Rihanna in 2009. [Idolator]

● Kristen Bell totally freaked out when her boyfriend, Dax Shepard, got her a sloth for her 31st birthday because, well, who wouldn't? Sloths are so cute! [Buzzfeed]

● We always had a sneaking suspicion that Pat Sajak was "two or three or six" margaritas drunk on Wheel of Fortune. But Vanna, too? That's news. [TMZ]

● Mark Wahlberg thinks he could have prevented tragedy on 9/11, had he only been on the right flight. “If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn’t have went down like it did," he tells Men's Journal this month. "There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, ‘OK, we’re going to land somewhere safely, don’t worry.’” If only, Marky Mark. [MensJournal]

● In the grandest of gestures, Angelina Jolie bought Brad Pitt a whole waterfall in California as a combined 48th birthday/Christmas present. "Brad has dreamed of a home with the sound of a waterfall cascading under the house," Us Weekly reports. "He wants to pull all aspects of nature, light, glass and varying levels into the concept." [Us]

The R&B star has finally hit back at haters everywhere by purchasing himself a giant home in the Hollywood Hills. 

Um, breaking? Chris Brown, known for being a rage-filled humanoid, is still one. This time, he took his anger out on his 5.7 million Twitter followers after someone brought up his assault against Rihanna. Just days away from appearing on the American Music Awards, Brown thought it best to alienate his remaining fans by loosing his shit.

● The Dark Knight Rises team have decided against using Occupy Wall Streeters and their currently embattled Zuccoti Park for filming. "To co-opt what's happening there and around the country ... we didn't want to trivialize it," reports actor Matthew Modine. "It was more important to respect what they're doing than to do anything that could potentially trivialize the political situation downtown." [IndieWire]

● Beyoncé is due in February, assuming she's due at all. [PopDust] ● An Ira Glass sex tape, in the style of This American Life. Nuff said. [A.V. Club] ● Amy Winehouse's devoted dad is working on a "heartfelt and revelatory memoir" about his late daughter. Is a father-daughter tribute album to follow? [ArtsBeat/NYT]

● Alec Baldwin ditched last night's Emmys ceremony after Fox cut a phone-hacking joke from the pre-taped skit he'd done. “Fox did kill my NewsCorp hacking joke,” he later tweeted. “Which sucks bc I think it would have made them look better. A little.” [Deadline] ● Modern Family won the most Emmys, but Friday Night Lights' Kyle Chandler was able to sneak the Best Actor in a Drama award, so full hearts, you know? [NYT] ● After first making a terrible scene there, Lindsay Lohan left her cell phone at the Boom Boom Room. Lucky for her, a good Samaritan returned the phone without asking for a reward or leaking whatever sort of "personal stuff" she has on there. At least not yet. [TMZ]