"For a man, it’s a pain that most of us will never get near."

One must have a really good reason to miss New York City Fashion Week (including the debauchery of Fashion's Night Out), and for me it was hopping on a short, hour-long flight to attend the 35th annual Toronto International Film Festival. TIFF, as locals call it, kicked off last Thursday, but it didn't pick up heat til Friday. Thousands of industry folk and movie lovers flocked to the metropolitan city, known to be one of the top film production destinations in the world. It's 11 days of exclusive events, 300 films and—naturally—a score of celebrity sightings. Truth be told, the last movie I saw was The Crazies, if that's any indication of how frequently I make it to the movies. So I was glad this trip would primarily involve catching up with my old friend cinema and checking out the latest films, which may or may not get picked up by a distributor.

Not to be outdone by Beijing and pretty Chinese girls lip-syncing songs sung by less comely Chinese girls, England is pulling out the big guns for the 2012 London Olympics. Olympics officials have announced that Oscar-winning director Danny Boyle will serve as artistic director for the opening ceremony. And that's not all. Director Stephen Daldry will lead a team of four "creatives" in charge of overseeing and producing the opening and closing ceremonies.

While us unworthy regular people do such silly things as scrape together cash for our monthly rents (or trick their friends into doing so) and otherwise teeter towards homelessness, even the most unfortunate celebrities don't have to consider such a cruel fate. This isn't to say that when the housing market went tits-up, the sun continued shining over celebrity enclaves. Because, as we learn after the break -- for every posh manse, there's a senseless eviction. And of course, heated floors.

● Usher would like Chris Brown to show a little remorse for what he did to Rihanna. I’m sure Brown, who already has won Rihanna back, will take that into consideration. [Us] ● Lily Allen is a bit upset about her "Shhh" tattoo now that see knows Rihanna had it first. Allen got the tattoo with new bud Lindsay Lohan after a night of partying, thinking the idea was original. Oops. [Entertainment.Stv] ● Despite rumors to the contrary, Slumdog Millionaire director and Oscar winner Danny Boyle will not direct the new James Bond film; he prefers watching one to directing one. [IMDB]

Not unlike a canker sore that flares up annually in a Pavlovian response to seeing Ryan Seacrest at any awards pre-show, generally dour critics have, as is customary and similarly Pavlovian of them this time of year, proceeded to isolate and drag through the mud the single film they think was the most undeserving Oscar contender. Last year it was Juno. "Teenagers don't get pregnant! Teenagers can't crack wise!" cried the esoteric, shapeless horde. And look how wrong they were. This year, their victim is Danny Boyle's Slumdog Millionaire. And what's the shapeless horde crying now, arms folded and brows furrowed? "The poors aren't glamorous! In India, the poors can't speak English! Why, the poors don't ever end up looking so pretty, either!" All true. Why, some are even alleging that Slumdog is nothing more than simple poverty porn. But they're just being foolishly reductive, perhaps willfully naïve.

Director Danny Boyle spills on shooting in Mumbai

Those who've had a chance to see Slumdog Millionaire must have been wtf'ing all over the place after it was just inexplicably slapped with an R rating by the MPAA. The movie, which won the audience award at TIFF, is a whimiscal, if at times disturbing, modern fairy tale set mostly in the tidal wave of humanity that is the slums of Mumbai, India. To be sure, there's some disturbing imagery spattered throughout the movie, but at heart it's a fairly innocent fable of love and destiny, propelled forward by it's protagonist appearing on the Indian version of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? And yet, the Joker slamming someone's neck into a pencil warrants a PG-13. I spoke to the director Danny Boyle (Trainspotting, 28 days Later), and he's more disappointed I am.