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● Mayor Bloomberg wasn't pleased to hear that the NYPD provided Diddy with a police escort to his New Jersey afterparty last week. Diddy's people claim that the mogul "was stuck," and the apparently well-connected dry cleaner who arranged for the special ride says it "all happened last-minute." [NYP] ● Video game company Gate Five is suing "diva grinch" Beyonce for $100 million for pulling out of a dance game, causing the company to lay off 70 employees a week before Christmas. [Page Six] ● Gwyneth Paltrow has been following her muse lately, but calling her grandmother a cunt on Chelsea Lately yesterday might have been taking things too far. "She must've been in a lot of pain," said Paltrow, "because she was mean as hell." [NYDN]

Jay-Z & Diddy Really Want to Sign Odd Future

● Things went so badly on the first night of Charlie Sheen's "Violent Topedo of Truth" tour that Sheen was booed off the stage twenty minutes early. He pulled things together for night two in Chicago, managing to "satisfy, if not amaze, concert goers." Winning? Sounds more like a draw. [Chicago Tribune] ● "Social media is over," proclaimed James Franco, after having his Twitter feed quieted by "certain companies" he works with with. "Still up there. Going down. You heard it here first." [Politico] ● Music industry head honchos are willing to do anything for "anti-establishment band" Odd Future. Diddy, for one, is "desperate to sign the group to prove that he's on to something hot." Tyler, are you listening? Anything! [Page Six]

● Nickelodeon is looking to win back the generation of early watchers who were raised on their early '90s programming. They are dedicating the too-late-for-current-Nick-viewers midnight-to-2 AM time slot to golden-era favorites like Pete and Pete, Rugrats and Clarissa Explains It All. The '90s Are All That, indeed! [EW] ● The numbers are in and this years richest rappers are as follows: Diddy, $475 million; Jay-Z, $450 million; Dr. Dre $125 million; and tied for fifth, 50 Cent and Birdman with an easy $100 million a piece. Diddy's got Ciroc, 50's got a burgeoning career in cinema, and Jay's got a kingdom -- how did Birdman, a fairly middling rapper with little output, make this list? It had to be swag. [Forbes] ● There was something of a situation yesterday outside Justin Bieber's London hotel where hundreds of screaming girls had gathered to get a glimpse of the pop god. Ironically, as a result of the mania, Justin had to cancel the Beatles tour he had planned. [TMZ]

I’m not a huge basketball fan (soccer’s my game), but here’s what I’ve been able to glean about the too-early-to-tell-but-possibly-disastrous Knicks trading snafu: Carmelo Anthony is now a member of New York’s beleaguered (but recently pretty good!) team; he was traded for a bunch of talented young players, including Danillo ‘the Rooster’ Gallinari; Anthony’s name is the type that’s writ large; this brings the Knicks tally of superstars - Anthony and Amar’e Stoudemire - up to two. Also, they have a sterling team of marketers, as evidenced by this Odyssean video giving Anthony a hero’s welcome, set to music by Diddy Dirty Money.

In case you’re not an American, next weekend is the Superbowl, the big kahuna, the end all and be all. And because it’s such a massive deal, big brands are pulling out all the stops in an attempt to woo celebrities and media types to Texas for the festivities surrounding the football game. Here’s what to look out for if you’ll be in Dallas next weekend.

● Charlie Sheen had a briefcase -- a Gucci briefcase -- full of cocaine delivered to his home before the 911 call. That's one way to measure Two and a Half Men's success. [TMZ] ● Further news in the unraveling of Charlie: Sheen rented out his neighbor's mansion in order to house his very own "porn family." Isn't that nice? His reps aren't sure what to say anymore. [TMZ] ● Lady Gaga worked up a frenzy and a trending topic when she tweeted the lyrics to her upcoming single, "Born This Way." Special shout-outs go to the LBGQT, "The Subway Kid," those of Lebanese and of Chola decent, and, like we would say in the '50s, the "Orient made." [Twitter]

We’ll be the first to admit that his album promotion antics can be a little over the top, but no one can deny that Diddy does lux like the best of them. For his current family vacation, the mogul is shelling out approximately $850,000 per week – you know, lunch money – for a cruise on an iPad-controlled super yacht. Yeah. Don’t even think about browsing Mac’s new App Store for access to this technology. The custom-made software from German luxury yacht company Lurssen allows privileged passengers to remotely customize and control everything on board, just short of the steering wheel.

● Dawn Holland, the woman who accused Lindsay Lohan of violence at the Betty Ford rehab center, is now facing a federal investigation for divulging medical secrets in exchange for money. And Lindsay wins again! [Radar] ● After a woman's hair caught on fire at Diddy's album release party, he offered to pay for her trip to the salon. She had already made an appointment and expects it to cost about $1,000, or about 85 copies of Last Train to Paris. [TMZ] ● Jay-Z spent $350,000 on Birkin bags, "among other things," while Christmas shopping for Beyoncé at the Hermes boutique in New York City. [NYP]

For a few weeks months now, Diddy has been shamelessly promoting his group Dirty Money’s new album Last Train to Paris. Please note that 'shameless' is a loaded word here - this is the same guy who filmed himself in a bathtub to promote vodka earlier this year. (You’re not a hot girl, dude.) Diddy decided to take it to the streets for one of his most recent album promo ideas, startling New York pedestrians and handing out stacks of $20 bills to ice cream men in an effort to let city dwellers know that he's returned after a year and a half of being holed up out West. Like everyone else, we got a quick laugh or two at his expense, but figured this parade of cheap tricks would be over soon. That was until this morning on the R train platform, when we overheard a fellow commuter loudly chatting up an MTA worker in the booth. “What’s this sign about man? What’s it mean?” Obviously, our first inclination was to tune out this unnecessarily boisterous conversation with headphones, but then we heard this: “What is this Last Train to Paris?” Oh. No.