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Ever wonder how Ren & Stimpy got on the air? Why Sam always climbed through Clarissa's window? Who came up with the song "Killer Tofu" on Doug? Me too. And in the spirit of "ask, and you shall receive" is a new book full of all the golden answers to all your '90s-nostalgia questions: SLIMED! An Oral History of Nickelodeon's Golden Age. 

Disney and Pixar dominated a fair-sized chunk of movie-related headlines yesterday with the announcement of a sequel to beloved fishy flick Finding Nemo. Said sequel, Finding Dory, starring Ellen DeGeneres as the forgetful but lovable blue tang, will hit theatres in 2015 and feature more of Dory's back story, taking place in part in California. That's all well and good, but with all the hype, another movie announcement kind of fell by the wayside. Dear readers, say hello to Bears. 

I don't want to be the kind of guy who actively makes fun of weddings (I already have four to go to this year in various part of the country, and as much as I love my dear friends I have to say that FOUR IS TOO MANY, and I bet they've all conspired against me). And, look, I love a theme party. But can't we all agree that theme parties and weddings are two separate entities and those things should stay far, far, farrrrrrr away from each other? Because sometimes things get out of hand and suddenly you're in a mermaid wedding dress and someone is combing your hair with a fork and your bridesmaids are dressed as Disney princesses and you're being married by a guy in Mickey Mouse ears, and eventually someone is going to have to remind you that you are, in fact, an adult. 

I haven't yet seen Wreck-It Ralph, the newest computer-animated Disney film, but despite its favorable reviews and box-office success, it seems that the video game-inspired film has taken on a bit of the homophobic (and misogynist) nature of gamer culture. 

From gritty reboot to plain old plagiarism, here are the worst remakes currently in the pipeline.

Great news for anyone who likes nerds to suffer grievous self-harm: Walt Disney Co. has purchased Lucasfilm Ltd. for a modest $4.05 billion. The merger agreement includes plans for a Star Wars sequel—actually, three, for the full trilogy of trilogies, or nonology—with Episode 7 slated for 2015. Better dig out a costume and get on right line now.

For those of you who have power at this point but don't feel like leaving your houses on Halloween, you can still curl up and relive your childhood with the Sanderson Sisters and their shenanigans. Apparently, the 1993 Disney Halloween classic starring Bette Midler (and her brilliant rendition of "I Put A Spell On You"), Sarah Jessica Parker (and her crazy eyebrows) and Kathy Najimy (riding a vacuum cleaner) can be viewed—not in the highest of quality, but decent enough—on the YouTubes, in its entirety, in one video. Talking cat and all. 

Here's your first look at Angelina Jolie in the role she was born to play: as Maleficent, the classic villainess from Disney's Sleeping Beauty. This time, however, the evil queen plays the titular character in an upcoming film, which focuses more on the dark nature of the queen rather than the sweet, beautiful Aurora. But, most importantly, Jolie dons the horns and the goth look for the role. Take a look after the jump!

Long before the Julia Roberts stinker Mirror, Mirror came and went, there was talk about that movie and the forthcoming Snow White and the Huntsman and which witch—Roberts’ evil queen or that of Huntsman’s Charlize Theron—would be worst. Talk no more, folks. Today a clip from Huntsman, featuring Theron not-so-gently asking her loyal servant, played by everyhunk Chris Hemsworth, to go into some haunted-ass woods and hunt down Snow White so the queen can eat her heart already.

Lars von Trier's Charlotte Gainsbourg led Nymphomaniac will be presented in two parts, according to producer Peter Aalbæk Jensen. And what's more, they hope to have both films shot, edited and finished in time for a return to Cannes -- where von Trier was excused as a persona non grata last year -- in 2013. [IndieWire]