Dita Von Teese has been called many things over the course of her unlikely ascension to the mainstream, but she’s rarely accused of being dull. That’s partly why we love following the actress, author, and performer on Twitter. In the last month alone, she's revealed her love for Boys Noize, her favorite new restaurant in London, her dinner companion in the English capital, and even posted a link where one can buy her 1939 Chrysler New Yorker on eBay. Next week, Von Teese, who's been busy filming scenes for her January 13 debut on CSI: Los Angeles, will hold court at West Hollywood’s Roxy for a three-night mini-residency. We thought it was time to get the goods on what fans can expect at the Dec 13-15th engagement, not to mention her take on Cher’s Burlesque. Check it out after the jump.

Just the other night I spent a sultry evening tasting Dita Von Tesse's delectable cream, bowing my head down and lapping up her naughty, silky goodness, spread out wide before me. She was moist and delicious and drove me into rapture. She was rare and exciting and reassuringly expensive, and I wanted to share her with no one. Alas, this was not to be.

At Lucky magazine's Lucky Shops:

Weren't lucky enough to land a Marc Jacobs tee emblazoned with a nude Chloë Sevigny the first time around? Don't fret. The designer and arguable mayor of Bleecker Street is reissuing his much loved "Protect the Skin You’re In" line of t-shirts. Thanks to the relaunch, in addition to Sevigny you can now also outfit yourself with fleshy images of Victoria Beckham, Heidi Klum, Dita Von Teese, Doutzen Kroes, or Erin Wasson overlaid with the aforementioned phrase.

Dita Von Teese likes to take baths. Last night at Avalon, for her first appearance in L.A. in two years, she took two baths in just an hour and a half, easily more than I take in a few weeks. (I do bathe, just the less glamorous way -- standing up in a shower). Though I'd seen the host, Murray Hill, more times than I can count, it was my first time seeing Dita perform.

Unlike New York, where socializing slows to a crawl because everyone's in the Hampton's or it's just too plain hot, in Los Angeles, the social scene picks up during the summertime. In your immediate foreseeable future, you will be very busy taking in art, dancing, weird circuses, and getting a visit from everyone's favorite comedy uncle (Murray Hill!) while ogling half-naked women.

● The Miss California Organization has a vested interest in their candidate winning; that’s why they paid for Carrie Prejean to get a new pair of boobs six weeks before the Miss USA pageant. [PopCrunch] ● Dita Von Teese has taken a lover. The burlesque beauty is seeing the Count Louis-Marie de Castelbajac's son, fashion designer Jean-Charles de Castelbajac, who happens to be 11 years her junior. [Celebuzz] ● Natalie Portman has taken a stand against celebrity endorsements. The actress says she doesn’t believe in supporting something you don’t believe in, like make-up for instance. [FemaleFirst]

● Take a look at Seth Rogen, age 13, doing stand-up in Canada before the fame, before his balls dropped, and from the looks of it, before he found a bong. [Youtube] ● We Americans may be blasé about Katy Perry’s girl-kissing antics, but Saudi Arabia finds the singer too sexy, censoring her album cover by adding clothes. [The Insider] ● Real housewife of NYC Kelly Bensimon has more legal troubles on the way, as if allegedly beating up your boyfriend wasn’t bad enough; a former Elle Accessories editor is accusing her of lifting a jewelry line idea. Hell hath no fury like an editor scorned. [P6]

● Has hell frozen over? Star Jones and Rosie O’Donell will be hosting a charity luncheon together. They can bond over the food. [US] ● Zooey Deschanel says the constant Katy Perry comparisons are getting "a little annoying," cause the only thing they have in common are blunt bangs. [MTV] ● Kate Moss says although she’s not with child, she’s been pregnant for the last two years if tabloids were to be believed. [DigitalSpy]

● Class act Aubrey O’Day is hoping to be the godmother to BFFs Jenna Jameson’s sons; after all, O’Day was the first one to know the ex-porn-star was pregnant. [OKMagazine] ● Lady Gaga’s bubble-ball dress she wears on her “Fame Ball” tour is making fashionistas do a double-take, as it’s almost identical to a Hussein Chalayan piece from his S/S 2007 collection. [NYTblog] ● Ever wonder what Thom Yorke looks like without a shirt on? Here’s your "chance" to find out for real. [JustJared]