New Year’s Eve is the one time of the year everyone comes together in collective optimistic harmony, hoping for better things to come by getting as wasted as possible.  After ingesting gallons of cheap champagne straight from the bottle, New Year’s Day can be rough.  But don’t worry over-imbibers, Gwyneth Paltrow, in all her servicey GOOPness, has your back with some ridiculous and expensive hangover remedies. 

● Lindsay Lohan missed her flight and, subsequently, her big Playboy reveal taping with Ellen DeGeneres. [E!]

To celebrate the tenth anniversary of The Royal Tenenbaums, the New York Film Festival followed a special screening of the film with a Q&A session with writer-director Wes Anderson and members of the cast, including Bill Murray, Angelica Houston, and Gwyneth Paltrow. Among the stories the actors shared that evening (Paltrow was dating her character's incestuous love-interest Luke Wilson!), one topic came up several times: how terrified everyone was of Gene Hackman, who reluctantly played the Tenenbaum patriarch, Royal.

● Conrad Murray's trial kicked off to a grim start yesterday with a photo of Michael Jackson's dead body stretched out on a hospital gurney, an eerie recording of Jackson mumbling, "I want them to say, 'I've never seen nothing like this in my life,' 'he's the greatest entertainer of all time,'" and tears all around. [LAT] ● Apparently Kourtney Kardashian's beau, Scott Disick, doesn't do so bad for himself in the down-under department ("It's like an elephant's trunk!"), and Kim thinks he needs some new underwear ("This is freaking me out!"). [xoJane] ● Apparently Spencer Pratt owes so much money that his agents don't even bother answering his phone calls anymore. Did he buy too many crystals? Not enough crystals? [Huff Post]

While we nursed seasonal allergies and dusted off our sweater collection last weekend, fashion's top globetrotters took to the streets of sunny Milan to catch the latest and greatest SS12 collections. Within 48 hours, an army of iconic fashion houses hit the runway to debut a range of ready-to-wear looks that transported spectators to exotic – and sometimes otherworldly – locales, like Emilio Pucci (shown here). Although this racy lace number has already been christened by Gwyneth Paltrow, we still love its intricate crochet work and subtle nod to the '90s. Read on for a few more favorites.

● Universal is using The Big Lebowski to launch their Social Theater on Facebook, an application with which allows viewers to stream movies for 30 Facebook credits or $3. The Dude of Facebook? 'Like.' [THR] ● Surely GOOP has touched at least a few lives, but we can't say we expected to hear that Gwyneth Paltrow is saving lives, too! In this particular case, a woman claims she was late to work on 9/11 after Gwyneth nearly ran her over in a large SUV. [People] ● The Weeknd's finally let go of his much anticipated second mixtape, Thursday, and it's as as dark, sleazy, wonderful as the last. and features Drake. It's available for free download from his site. [The Weeknd]

● When it comes to her music, Gwyneth Paltrow more or less just does whatever Beyoncé tells her to do. [LAT] ● After just five months together, pixie-haired darling Carey Mulligan and Mumford & Sons frontman Marcus Mumford are engaged. [Us] ● Kim Kardashian's wedding to Kris Humphries, from the engagement to "I do," will be aired as a two part television event on E! this October. It's likely to be followed by other Kim Kardashian wedding specials, like Honeymoon and Sunday Afternoon Housecleaning, or maybe even Childbearing. [NYP]

● "New Jersey is Third World," ranted a drunk Tracy Morgan before adding that "the world is ghetto." He's probably not that impressed by your house, either. [Page Six] ● Lauryn Hill says that Rohan Marley, the father of her first five children, is not the father of her sixth. "We have had long periods of separation over the years but our five children together remain a joy to both of us," she tweeted. [NYDN] ● Survey says men are most tired of hearing about Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, Charlie Sheen, and Sarah Palin. Whereas women just can't get enough of the Biebz: did you hear he took Selena to Hooters? You know, for the wings. [Us]

● Hugh Grant is back in the tabloids, and this time for helping bust the tabloids themselves! Apparently, years ago, he coaxed a former News of the World employee into admitting to the phone hacking and just generally skeezy practice that led to the paper's demise yesterday. "You're not journalists, you have no interest in journalism, it's just money, money, money," Grant told the editor. [BBC] ● Everybody cried at the final Harry Potter premier in London. Tears and all, Emma Watson still looked pretty. [DailyMail] ● Producers, Lil Wayne says your Carter 4 beats suck and that even Chad Ochocinco (not a beatmaker) could do better. "Get right, man. Step it up,” he warned. [HipHopDX]

The irony of Gwyneth Paltrow presuming to know anything about stress is obvious enough to hardly merit comment, so let's dig right in. The newest edition of indispensable lifestyle guide GOOP contains a feature on stress management. Gwyn outsources the advice to her stable of "experts":