● The new Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are on their honeymoon right now, on an island somewhere surrounded by coconut groves. Where are you? [DailyMail] ● After 25 years of marriage, Arnold Schwarzennegger and Maria Shriver have separated. Shriver's moving out of their Brentwood mansion while they "work on the future of [their] relationship". [LA Times] ● Whitney Houston has voluntarily returned to rehab, purportedly as part of a "long-standing" recovery process. [AP/Yahoo]

● Charlie Sheen's weekend live stream, Sheen's Korner, was boring and rambling and, frankly, just not "winning." And so it seems the wayward star is in talks to develop his own show on billionaire Mark Cuban's cable channel, HDNet. [Yahoo/AP] ● He can talk the talk, but now he wants a diploma too. Kanye West flew to London last week to apply for his Masters in Fashion at Central St. Martins College, a place with which he's already quite familiar: "Kanye spends a lot of time with fashion students and often hooks up with Central's arty pupils when he is in London." Sounds like a shoe-in! [The Sun] ● Miley Cyrus played a mean Justin Bieber and made plenty of bong jokes while hosting SNL. She's really going to be just fine. [NBC]

● Josh Brolin can officially rule out a role in Mission: Impossible 5, after telling The New Yorker that Scientology is "really fucking bizarre." [The New Yorker] ● Watch B.o.B deliver a meta-performance of his hit "Airplane" on an airplane, giving new meaning to the term "in-flight entertainment." Get it?! [YouTube] ● Lady Gaga tweeted that her new single, "Born This Way," will be out this Friday. Then her boyfriend tweeted how proud of her he is. Then I sneezed. [Lady Gaga/Twitter]

Danny A. has been a fixture in New York nightlife since the mid 90’s. He is known as a promoter/owner and certainly a player. His “friends” are often the young Hollywood set and all the models, actresses and bright beauties that are part of their entourage. After a dabble here and there in film Danny has now produced and stared in Holy Rollers, a buzz film about Hasids from that “un-gentrified” part of Brooklyn that smuggle drugs from Amsterdam. At Sundance he received support from his pals Gerard Butler, Bradley Cooper, Kevin Connolly, Adrien Brody, Adrian Grenier, Wilmer Valderrama and Guy Oseary. He even got a favorable notice from Harvey Weinstein, who called Danny's performance "awesome." His New York premier the other night was all that it should’ve been. Everyone who is anyone in the scene was delighted by Danny A., the movie star. He even has a new— or I guess an old—name now. The Danny A. we all love is now the equally loveable Danny A. Abeckaser. I will just assume that the middle “A” stands for awesome or amazing or “A” list. I caught up with my old friend and asked him about what it all means.

Today in Oscar news, we find out why Inglourious Basterds wont be taking home a statue this weekend and it’s all thanks to Melanie Laurent and her damn Nikes. Hollywood Elsewhere’s Jeffrey Wells felt “nearly betrayed” when his eyes beheld a production still of Tarantino’s Shosanna running through a rocky field sporting black sneakers, in a scene in which filmgoers were made to believe she was b-lining barefoot from her Nazi close-call. Wells "heart sank" to find Laurent, an actress, was only pretending her feet were bare! What deception! What’s next? Pitt merely pretending to carve a swastika into Christoph Waltz’s forehead? Hear that Mr. Weinstein? Your complete an utter regard for the safety of your cast has made that little luck prediction null and void. "Well, there goes any hopes of Best Picture," Eloi Manning comments.

Dog died? Homework eaten? Promotion denied? Think you had a bad week? Well, time to feel better, because in comparison to these people, you had it easy. A list of folks to pity, because sometimes schadenfreude feels so good.

● Nancy Kerrigan’s father has died of a heart attack after a fight with her brother, who is now under arrest. [Boston Herald] ● Cheaters, listen: don’t text your lady on a phone your wife can see. This is how Tiger Woods got busted and we all know how that turned out: Mel Gibson feels bad for him. [Daily Beast, TMZ] ● Remembering why Harvey Weinstein was such a baller: “Heard your NPR interview and you were boring. If you continue to be boring, I will hire an actor in New York to pretend that he's Errol Morris.“ [Letters of Note] ● “Sometimes we sit around/Just the two of us on a park bench/Sometimes we swim around/ Like two dolphins in the oceans of our hearts” and more of the stupidest pop lyrics of all time. [Huff Po]

Each year during the Cannes Film Festival, the American Foundation for AIDS Research (amFAR), holds their Cinema Against AIDS gala: the black-tie rendezvous for about eight hundred guests, among which are many of the stars from the films currently being screened in Cannes theatres, film producers, and anyone directly or indirectly involved in the fundraising effort. Chaired principally by Kenneth Cole, Harvey Weinstein, and Sharon Stone, Cinema Against AIDS helps raise funds for medical research. Both Weinstein and Stone have been tireless supporters of amFAR’s efforts to get the message out about AIDS awareness. Their participation in the gala helps to ensure as many A-listers as possible will show up, thereby increasing amFAR’s visibility. As Kenneth Cole explained to me when the gala was getting underway, "Anyone who is anyone will be here tonight, and Annie Lennox is going to sing. The night is going to be magical." Aware of the current economic climate, Cole told me that "last year was a different time and place, and it’s very hard out there, but it’s no less important in here."

● Peaches Geldof would like Ed Westwick to know he’s no Pete Doherty. She says of the Gossip Girl star that he acts like “English guy with a poet soul and it doesn't really work.” [NYM] ● By now we’ve all seen the Lilo Fornarina ad where she does her best Small Wonder impression; the director has defended the ad by saying we just don’t get his subtle homage to Serge Gainsbourg and Brigitte Bardot. Huh? [WWD] ● Meghan McCain, as in John McCain’s daughter, was seen having lunch with Tila Tequila. What did they talk about? Evidently everything from politics to pop culture. [US]

Scene at the Sundance Film Festival in Park City: A junior flack manning the door at the Kenneth Cole Black - GenArt party at the Sky Lodge last night bellowed out from behind her clipboard to the frigid swarm of party-goers mushrooming in front of the door: “If you’re not a celebrity, an honoree or press, get in the back of the line!” That pretty much sums up the Sundance party admittance hierarchy. Luckily, we snuck into the tail end of that equation and jumped the line, breezing right in to find cigarette girls and guys doling out jumbo boxes of Hot Tamales, Sour Patch Kids, cartons of popcorn, and other movie fare, as the likes of an unnaturally blonde Denise Richards, Eliza Dushku, and what appeared to be “Pedro” from Napoleon Dynamite shook their groove thangs to guest DJ Nick Cannon’s ’80s mash-ups. (Thanks, but do we really need a remix of ’80s one-hit-wonders The Outfield?)