● Justin Bieber surprised gal-pal Selena Gomez by arranging a private Titantic screening for just the two at the Staples Center in LA. The romantic evening, he says, was inspired by something he saw in an Adam Sandler movie. [TMZ] ● Finally they get something right: Netflix has won the right to air DreamWorks films, beating out HBO. For $30 million per animated picture, they'll get exclusive streaming rights to the studio's animated flicks, you can't cancel your subscription until at least Shrek 4D comes out. [NYT] ● Soul legend Sly Stone is now homeless and living in a white camper van in Crenshaw. “I just do not want to return to a fixed home," he explained to the New York Post. "I cannot stand being in one place. I must keep moving.” [NYP]

● Lindsay Lohan says that, contrary to the tabloid's cries, she didn't get drunk this weekend. "It's strange how people can come up with such detailed lies," offered one of her more astute friends. [TMZ] ● Settling months of rumors with a tweet, last night Kat Von D confirmed that she and Jesse James are officially over. "The distance between us was just too much," James went on to tell People. [TheKatVonD/Twitter/People] ● Leighton Meester is suing her mother for using money she had set aside for her sick brother on things like plastic surgery and hair extensions. And in counter-suit, her mother Constance is claiming Leighton has failed to keep up with promised monthly support payments. And you thought your relationship with your mother was complicated. [E!]

● The New York Times is reporting that "for the first time in 20 years, the number of homes in the United States with television sets has dropped." Which, well, duh -- we didn't even think they played Teen Mom on the actual boob tube anymore. [NYT] ● Miley Cyrus, who was negative one years old when the song first came out, is covering "Smells Like Teen Spirit." Really, don't think about this too long. [BuzzFeed] ● Flavor Flav was arrested on his way home from Benihana in Las Vegas by "a curious Rookie Ass Cop," who found four outstanding traffic offenses on the rapper's record. At home, Flav tweeted his mug shot while laying in bed. Life! [LAT]

● After giving the middle finger to photographers and the crowd at a Mets game last week, Lady Gaga switched teams, rooting for the Yankees in an open jersey and black underwear. Get it, switched teams? [NYDN] ● Jesse James is packing up and moving from Los Angeles to Austin. In Miss Congeniality 7: Attack of Menopause, Sandra Bullock will karaoke "All My Ex's Live in Texas." [People] ● Manute Bol, the 7'7" former NBA star and renowned activist, is dead at 47. [WaPo]

● Lindsay Lohan has been ordered to wear an alcohol-monitoring ankle bracelet and undergo drug tests after she skipped a probation hearing while attending Cannes Film Festival, where she definitely accepted no drugs or alcohol. [HuffPo] ● Each and every alternate ending for the Lost finale should feature "Don't Stop Believing" or otherwise, Green Day's "Time of Your Life." [Buzzfeed] ● Lady Gaga: "I love the rumor that I have a penis!" [PopCrunch]

● In case anyone thought it was a remote possibility, Sandra Bullock has assured the world that no, Jesse James did not give her a dirty sanchez on camera while wearing Nazi gear. [People] ● This song will make you feel brand new (until you hear it for the 1,847th time): fifty-eight covers of "Empire State of Mind." [Urlesque] ● Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy announced their break-up via Twitter because Oprah, Larry King, Wendy Williams, TMZ, Perez Hilton and your little sister's blog were all booked. [Page Six]

Amidst all the hoopla surrounding the Jesse James scandal, we musn't forget: Sandra Bullock used to exist in a relatively peaceful, pre-Oscar, pre-Michelle "Bombshell" McGee world. She was an inoffensive, somewhat dull actress. She made movies that people sometimes saw, sometimes didn't. Back then, the paparazzi didn't bother much. During her daily routines (getting coffee, going to the gym) there'd be maybe one or two of them filming her from their car. She might've been aware of their presence, but maybe not. It was creepy, but also fine. Today, Sandra Bullock emerged for the first time to her changed world, and as you'll see it, it was anything but fine. After the jump, a look at what a paparazzi video of Sandra Bullock used to look like, and then, horrifically, what it looks like now.

The folks at Us Weekly should be ashamed of themselves. Their latest issue features a woman scorned Sandra Bullock, with the headline "MARRIED TO A MONSTER" splashed across the cover. That monster is of course her fallen husband Jesse James, who's been getting a pretty bad rap. But what kind of monster names a burger joint after his dog? And what kind of monster ensures the food at said burger joint is healthy, and that the meat he's peddling is steroid and hormone-free? And what kind of a fiend powers his restaurant through solar energy, and uses real silverware and plates to minimize waste? Would a monster sign autographs for his fans? Ladies and gentlemen, just because Jesse James lost control of his penis, does not mean he's a bad guy. The proof is in the ground beef.

Some good old fashioned social networking detective work has put us in touch with the busty bikini model who doubles as the girl who helped ruin Sandra Bullock's post-Oscar high's best friend. On Michelle "Bombshell" McGee's MySpace page, a girl by the name of Tiffany Cache wrote something on her wall, promising to lend her trucker hats in big sunglasses for her new role as paparazzi prey. Then, out of an unwavering loyalty to Facebook, we contacted Tiffany through her profile, and well, she answered. She seemed game to answer anything we wanted to know, so we fired away a few questions like "Do you think Michelle is a homewrecker?" Her two, extended answers are after the jump.

If you thought Catwoman was the worst an Oscar curse could dish out, then consider Michelle "Bombshell" McGee -- the first mistress in a long time that doesn't belong to Tiger Woods. How refreshing! McGee is claiming that she was having an affair with Sandra Bullock's husband Jesse James, while the actress was doing some Oscar-winning acting in Atlanta on the set of The Blind Side. According to In Touch, who broke the story, James made McGee think that he and Bullock were separated, and she would have never slept with him if she knew his true marital status. Never! Because that would be wrong. From a woman who's Twitter handle is EvilCunt, that kind of self-victimization is a little tough to swallow.