Erstwhile $20-million-dollar man Jim Carrey continued his quest for viral video supremacy with a surprise performance at Arlene's Grocery in New York's Lower East Side this weekend. Since we sadly weren't there--imagine the status updates!--we're not quite sure what brought Carrey to the grungy music den, or what drove him on stage. Gawker points out that he had a camera crew in tow, so maybe a documentary about celebrities who enjoy unplanned public performances? Anyway, the audience firmly in the palm of his hand, Carrey proceeded to belt out two disaffected classics from alternative music's '90s heyday.

● Lil Wayne's Tha Carter IV sold almost a million copies in its debut week, making Wayne the second rapper (Eminem being the other) to go platinum twice in just seven days. [RapRadar] ● "People who don't have gender dysphoria aren't going to catch it by watching me dance on television," says Chaz Bono, who's on Dancing With The Stars because he just wants to dance. [LAT] ● Probably because nobody thought James Franco was funny last year, the committee decided to get someone they could count on -- vetted comedian Eddie Murphy -- to host this year's Oscars. With him and Bret Ratner onboard, the show is sure to be real rib-tickling. [NYDN]

Last night, as half the planet was taking stock of Steve Jobs' impact on humanity while the other half was wondering, Where in the World is Colonel Gaddafi?, Jim Carrey posted a strange video love letter to Emma Stone on his website, recapturing the global conversation faster than you can say 'restraining order.' General reaction to the homemade clip has been befuddlement, unease, and a slight case of the heebee-jeebies (that's not taking into account the emotional whirlwind that Ms. Stone must be enduring). The operative word to describe the video, according to the blogs and the people who write them, has been 'creepy.' So what's the deal?

● Steve Jobs has stepped down from his post as Apple CEO, saying, “I have always said that if there ever came a day when I could no longer meet my duties and expectations as Apple’s C.E.O., I would be the first to let you know. Unfortunately, that day has come.” [NYT] ● Someone in Australia is making a musical about Kanye West and his "struggle against the man to become the man." Sounds cool, bro. [LAT] ● Will and Jada Pinkett Smith's marriage is fine. See how hard they are smiling in all these pictures of their Malibu shopping trip? Totally casual. [TMZ]

● Kimberly Stewart, of all people, is pregnant with Benicio del Toro's child. Remember all those times you were embarrassed by your father? The opposite is going to happen to this kid. [Life & Style] ● Here's a quickie video of a random photographer calling John Galliano a 'fucking racist' at LAX. [TMZ] ● Jim Carrey took a razor to the sides of his head, and now I'm writing about it. What that says about the world we live in (and myself) is too depressing to contemplate. [Jim Carrey/Twitter]

Any minute now, a bottle of champagne courtesy the staff at GQ should be arriving at the headquarters of the Parents Television Council. That's because the uptight media watchdog has blessed the men's magazine with the kind of publicity that only an uptight media watchdog can buy, or, as they so often do, give away for free. For the last 24 hours, the "scandalous" Terry Richardson-shot cover story - featuring Glee stars Lea Michele and Dianna Agron dressed up like naughty school girls - is all anyone can talk about. When the PTC dropped the word "pedophilia" into the mix, it forced a response from GQ Editor-In-Chief Jim Nelson, and today, an apology from Ms. Argon via her Tumblr. But since most people understand that the photo shoot is not a big deal, what the PTC is really doing is shining a great big spotlight on the parties involved. And what actor, photographer, TV show, or magazine doesn't want that?

● Blaming bad hours, a bad attitude, and periods of no pay, Lindsay Lohan's assistant quit. Wasn't that all in the job description? New requirement for the next poor soul: clean pee. [Radar] ● An aspiring film producer in New York City has an idea that must be accomplished for the good of us all: Jurassic Park Slope starring Bill Murray. Get on this bandwagon early. [Daily Intel] ● The new Karate Kid forgot the karate. [Slate]

Want to watch Jim Carrey make out with Ewan McGregor this summer? Too bad! According to an exclusive report by THR, Esq., "A California District Court judge has issued a preliminary injunction preventing the U.S. release of the indie comedy" I Love You Philip Morris. Is this long-delayed movie ever going to come out? What's the deal? The film was produced by EuropaCorp, a French movie studio that licensed the domestic distribution rights to Consolidated Pictures Group and, to make a long story short, consolidated allegedly failed to deliver the full $3 million advance it agreed to pay EuropaCorp. It's all very technical and drawn out and lawyer-y, but, regardless, 'I Love You Phillip Morris' will not be making its July debut as planned.

I Love You Phillip Morris - “This really happened. It really did.” So read the subtitles at the beginning of I Love You Phillip Morris, informing the audience that the mind-boggling exploits of protagonist Steven Russell (Jim Carrey)—con man, embezzler, impersonator and frequent jail-breaker—are all true. But 15 minutes into the film, when the camera cuts away from Russell, a seemingly cheerful family man, dedicated Christian and potluck-frequenting police officer, to Russell euphorically sodomizing another man while chortling in voice-over, “I’m gay, gay, gay!” those subtitles take on new meaning. Forget the neutered "Will & Grace". Forget the tortured Brokeback Mountain. This is a movie starring Hollywood heavies Carrey and Ewan McGregor (playing the love of Russell’s life, Phillip Morris) as unapologetic, unconflicted homosexuals who like to screw. This really happened. It really did. If neither Carrey nor the film is plausible in the more earnest moments, well, it’s the movie’s sexual politics, not its weaknesses, that will have everyone talking.—Willa Paskin

● Anne Hathaway got up super early to announce the nominees for the 82nd Academy Awards. Commence your bitching! [Oscars] ● The rapper Nelly plans to lead a "male version of The View," with Jermaine Dupri and Usher; no one plans to really let this happen, let alone watch. [The L] ● Jersey Shore's The Situation is seeking to trademark his nickname for use on clothing. Examples on the third page of the official government paperwork include pantaloons, quilted vests, thermal socks and turtlenecks. [The Smoking Gun]