● Is that "Justin" on Selena's wrist permanent ink or not? Inquiring tween minds must know - there's revenge to plot! [Huff Post] ● James Franco bought a yarn sculpture that a 13-year-old Tumblr-using fan made in his likeness, and now the girl thinks that they are "mentally married." [CTV] ● In his new book, Deer in the Headlights, Levi Johnston says Bristol wanted to get pregnant in revenge for her mother's pregnancy. Johnston just went along because he was "too dumb" to use protection, amongst other things. [NYDN]

● Lil Wayne's Tha Carter IV sold almost a million copies in its debut week, making Wayne the second rapper (Eminem being the other) to go platinum twice in just seven days. [RapRadar] ● "People who don't have gender dysphoria aren't going to catch it by watching me dance on television," says Chaz Bono, who's on Dancing With The Stars because he just wants to dance. [LAT] ● Probably because nobody thought James Franco was funny last year, the committee decided to get someone they could count on -- vetted comedian Eddie Murphy -- to host this year's Oscars. With him and Bret Ratner onboard, the show is sure to be real rib-tickling. [NYDN]

● 8 babies, 150 episodes, and one very publicly failed marriage later, TLC has at last canceled Kate Plus 8. "And remember, this is not ‘goodbye’. I prefer to say ‘See you around!,'" tweeted Kate. See you! [EW] ● Patti Smith is adapting her National Book Award-winning Just Kids for the big screen with the help of Tony Award-winning playwright John Logan. [RS] ● Case of Ace, make it two: Sparring no expense, Jay-Z spent the weekend in Miami, where he drank $250,000 worth of champagne and left a $50,000 tip in a very serious celebration of Watch The Throne. [Radar]

● TLC is flexing their cross-promotional muscle, sending Sarah Palin and her kids camping with Kate Gosselin and her bunch for the sake of reality television. The world did not implode, though Gosselin did say she was "miserable." [HuffPo] ● In other Palin-related news, Kathy Griffin called Bristol "the white Precious" while deriding her weight-gain, leading to boos from the Salute the Troops audience. [Fox News] ● Actress Amanda Heard has come out publicly, appearing at a GLAAD event with her partner Tasya van Ree, thereby doubling her own fame. [EW]

● Mel Gibson's ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva -- the "psycho c----" from yesterday -- has as much as 30 minutes of Gibson's rants on tape. Sounds like a veritable goldmine of racism, sexism, and insanity -- or the album of the year. [Radar] ● Girls Gone Wild mastermind Joe Francis, recently out of jail, will marry his entertainment reporter girlfriend in a ceremony that will hopefully include many a sleazy cameraman. [Page Six] ● Kelsey Grammar's wife has filed for divorce. Imagine this guy out on the prowl with Larry David and David Letterman. [TMZ]

● Director Sofia Coppola and her indie rocker husband Thomas Mars of Phoenix welcomed their second daughter, Cosmina, in New York City, where she'll be the coolest kid at daycare. [PopEater] ● Mena Suvari was married in Vatican City, dooming her union to be small, out of touch, and micromanaged. [People] ● Kate Gosselin's botox makes Nicole Kidman look like Betty White. [US Weekly]

● Mr. Playboy himself, Hugh Hefner, gave a Kate Gosselin appearance in his magazine the veto adding, "I don't think she's a celebrity." [HuffPo] ● Gaga Stigmata is a submission-based blog dedicated to "critical writings and art" about Stefani Germanotta. [Gaga Stigmata] ● If Robert Pattinson plays Kurt Cobain and Kristen Stewart does her Courtney Love thing the whole world might just be all right. [PopEater]

● The long-awaited video for Lady Gaga and Beyoncé's "Telephone" is everything you wanted and more pop chaos. Watch it unless you want to nothing to talk about at parties this weekend. [Vevo] ● Everyone who has been too busy being excited (or tweeting, that is) about Kathryn Bigelow, has failed to consider the real tragedy of last weekend's Oscars: the stillborn James Cameron victory party and cleaning up the decorations. [Videogum] ● You can probably watch all of the top 50 twenty-second films before you do the math to figure out how many minutes it would take you. [YouTube]

● Kate Gosselin will be back on reality TV, with a show that explores her doing "different jobs and tasks, showing how she performs in different environments.” Except the different environments will all be media fishbowls and circuses. [Perez] ● New Domino’s ad cops to how bad Domino’s pizza is. Company hopes honesty is endearing enough for customers to continue ignoring bad pizza. [Gawker, Slate] ● Man desperate to be a nerd all of his life has glasses tattooed onto his face. [Ypsilon2]

● The New York Daily News gossip page doesn't need jokes, because this is a real headline: "Stripper cheating allegations behind them, Fergie and Josh Duhamel renew wedding vows." [Daily News] ● Comedian Aziz Ansari sent a Facebook message to a girl who called him a "giant douchebag" in a Twitter update. "Are you basing this on characters I play on TV?" he asked. "That is pretend." [ONTD] ● Yankees star Derek Jeter will marry actress Minka Kelly on November 5th. A New York Post "reporter" scored the scoop by sneaking into the "reception palace" pretending to be a bride-to-be. Is that journalism or Drew Barrymore movie? [NY Post]