● Is that "Justin" on Selena's wrist permanent ink or not? Inquiring tween minds must know - there's revenge to plot! [Huff Post] ● James Franco bought a yarn sculpture that a 13-year-old Tumblr-using fan made in his likeness, and now the girl thinks that they are "mentally married." [CTV] ● In his new book, Deer in the Headlights, Levi Johnston says Bristol wanted to get pregnant in revenge for her mother's pregnancy. Johnston just went along because he was "too dumb" to use protection, amongst other things. [NYDN]

● Rumors had it yesterday that Will and Jada Smith were headed for divorce. The couple themselves, as well as their son Trey, went out of their way to say otherwise. This morning, a still suspicious TMZ is reporting that the family is headed on a vacation together, during which they'll try to mend whatever it is that might be broken. [TMZ] ● According to official toxicology reports, Amy Winehouse was clear of illegal drugs at the time of her death. And while the results do indicate that there was alcohol present in her system, "it cannot be determined as yet if it played a role in her death." [People] ● Lady Gaga is getting The Simpsons treatment. Gaga will voice a character based on herself, but is "a little bit of a slut." "The apple doesn't fall far from my artistic tree," she said. [NYP]

● E Street Band saxophonist Clarence Clemons passed away over the weekend due to complications from a stroke. Heaven's being treated to an awesome sax solo right about now. [NYT] ● Yesterday's Post asked a good question: "Fez? Really?" Just how does a waning c-lister like Wilmer Valderrama, who has been attached to everyone from Lindsay Lohan to Mandy Moore, and, most recently, Demi Lovato, keep getting the girls? Mostly, drinks. Classy! [NYP] ● To nobody's surprise, Amy Winehouse was stumbling and sloppy -- like, really sloppy -- at her comeback show in Belgrade. After arriving an hour late and shouting "Hello Athens!," she was booed of the stage. [DailyMail]

● Nobody was paying attention anymore so Kristin Cavallari went ahead and got engaged to her footballer boyfriend Jay Cutler, who proposed, appropriately, in Cabo. [People] ● Levi Johnston reveals all in his new, awesomely titled book, Deer in the Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin's Crosshairs. It's got more heart than your average revenge thriller, though, as Johnston says he wrote it with someone special in mind: "For me, for my boy Tripp, and for the country." [People] ● Media treasure chest YouTube is set to launch a movie-on-demand service sometime in the next two weeks, providing competition to iTunes and Netflix by streaming full-length films off the site for a small fee. [Wrap]

● "Well, he does a different party than I do," said Snooki upon meeting Senator Chuck Schumer when the two crossed paths in a DC airport. And never the twain shall meet again. [NYP] ● Russell Brand and Chris Brown are slated to host SNL's February 12th episode. [NYM] ● Kings of Leon are postponing their international tour for drummer Nathan Followill, who tore his bicep while working out. It's okay, bro, we all forget to stretch sometimes. [E!]

● Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, the body of Jersey Shore, is on track to make about $5 million in 2010 alone, a figure sure to be employed by disaffected youth down the eastern seaboard. "But, Mom! I'm going to be like Mike." [THR] ● Taylor Lautner's RV was not up to par, so the Twilight actor is suing for "emotional distress." Whoever promised him the trailer would include both Taylor Swift and Kristen Stewart was doomed from the start. [Vulture] ● 22-year-old Jimena Navarrete of Mexico was crowned Miss Universe 2010. Better luck next year, Betty White. [AP]

● Ever the public thorn in Sarah Palin's side, Levi Johnston, the father of her first grandchild, will run for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska as part of a reality show he's pitching. Behind closed doors, Palin probably respects his hustle. [Variety] ● When asked about why he has a girlfriend, Zac Efron responded, "Bathe in pussy? Yeah, everyone tells me that." Regrets, he'll have a few... [Details] ● Charlie Sheen's Christmas Day fight with his wife was triggered by the Train song "Drops of Jupiter." [TMZ]

● The actress bawled after being sentenced to 90 days in jail for missing about 25% of her alcohol education classes after a DUI. "I did the best I could," she said. [TMZ] ● Levi Johnston, the father of Sarah Palin's grandson, has apologized to the family for lying the press. He wants back in their good graces after hearing the Deputy First Dude cabinet position was open. [People] ● Elle MacPherson admits to using the horn of endangered rhinoceroses as medicine, claiming it "does the job," meaning it costs a lot of money, sounds ridiculous, and kills rhinos. [PopEater]

● Robert Pattinson admits he popped "a few" valium before his Twilight audition, putting him closer to Rush Limbaugh than Tom Cruise on the heartthrob scale. [Starpulse] ● Laurie David, the ex-wife of Curb Your Enthusiasm's Larry David and alleged mistress of Al Gore, denies the affair. She's really more of a Bill Clinton type of lady. [HuffPo] ● This Lady Gaga sex doll is upsetting on levels that haven't even been thought of yet. [PipeDream]

Never one to be outdone by the Palin family, Levi Johnston is reportedly shopping around a reality TV show of his own. Last week, Sarah Palin inked a reported $1-milion-an-episode deal with Discovery for an eight-part reality show, but Levi says his reality train wreck will be even more train-wreck-a-rific. According to RadarOnline.com, American's favorite baby daddy wants a reality show of his own, and he's been pulling up to cable networks for pitch meetings in an RV party bus. Oh Levi...