● And now it comes out that Demi Moore has been addicted to Red Bull for years, and that the habit has more or less kept her going through these dark and exhausted post-Ashton days. [TMZ]

For some reason Mariah Carey was on the Home Shopping Network this weekend selling her collection of glitzy jewelry, velour sweatsuits, and strappy metallic heels with bling on them. She was in the mood to share a lot (and seemed perhaps kind of boozy?), launching into asides about how swollen her feet got during her pregnancy, why she's cut her nails short, and how, with regard to a twins pregnancy, “You have to keep them in as long as possible, because it’s a sacrifice you make for them.” I didn't watch, but apparently this went on for two hours. Oh, Mimi. You keep doing you.

● As tweeted by her mother, Mariah Carey, Baby Monroe's first photo proves that divas are born, not made. [MariahCarey/Twitter] ● Jennifer Aniston recently revealed her first tattoo. It says "Norman," the name of her deceased dog, on the inside of her foot. This from the woman who used to knit clothes for fun. [People] ● Surely, most of lower Manhattan was closed off before they let Kim Kardashian and Heidi Klum go jogging together, right? There are some real safety concerns here. [TMZ]

● Looks like those house-arrest TV-parties weren't so tame after all: Lindsay Lohan is headed back to court after failing her most recent sobriety test. It's like, is there even a bus for her to fall off at this point? [TMZ] ● After three months of barely-explained detention in a Chinese jail, artist Ai Weiwei has been released on bail for "good attitude in confessing his crimes as well as a chronic disease he suffers from." And also maybe because he didn't really do anything wrong in the first place. [NYT] ● Lil Wayne is threatening to bow out and retire on top after Tha Carter IV drops in this month's XXL. To which, sure, Wayne -- you do that. Just like Jay did in 2003. It's not so easy for a king. [XXL]

● Someone made a joke on Facebook (and subsequently on CNN's citizen-sourced iReport) about 13-year-old Rebecca Black being pregnant, luring pro-lifers out to play. [E!] ● Disney applied for trademark on the phrase "Seal Team 6" just two days after Osama Bin Laden was declared dead. Which, theoretically, could mean they are working on a feature starring a team of anthropomorphic sea creatures. More likely, they've just jumped the shark. [DailyMail] ● Nick Cannon has confirmed that Roc and Roe were welcomed into this world by a live version of Mariah's "Fantasy." "Of course we got to keep our celebrity weirdness up," said Cannon. [People]

● Not to detract from Barack's week of winning, but Michelle's "Let's Move!" campaign is the best ever, right? For its most recent video, Beyoncé surprises some girls dancing to her "Move Your Body." It's officially cute. [YouTube] ● Khloe Kardashian seems to think using egg whites as lubricant can speed up the baby-making process. [HollyBaby] ● Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon have chosen particularly, uh, inspired names for their twins: Moroccan Scott, as in "the Moroccan-inspired decor of the top-tier of Carey's apartment" and Monroe Cannon, after Marilyn Monroe, Mariah's inspiration. [Huff Post]

For a while there, it was really looking like the White House was going to release at least one image of a post-gun-shot-wound-to-the-head Osama Bin Laden. But now that it appears the President will officially deny us the pleasure of seeing Bin Laden's brains, we're going to need to shift our focus to other highly anticipated photographs. After the jump, check out five really exciting pictures our sour-puss president can't stop us from seeing.

● Fast Five won this weekend's box office, raking in $83.6 million and setting a record for Universal's best opening weekend ever. And it wasn't even in 3-D! [Box Office Mojo] ● Everybody thought President Obama's and Seth Meyers' roasts at Saturday's White House Correspondents dinner were really funny, except, of course, the subject of their scrutiny: The Donald. "Some were fun, but not the greatest," he told New York Magazine. "I thought Seth Meyers — his delivery frankly was not good. He's a stutterer," he expanded on Fox. [NYM] ● Mariah Carey finally gave birth to her twins on Saturday night, ending what's been a seemingly endless but fabulous stint as the pregnant diva. [AP]

● Nobody was paying attention anymore so Kristin Cavallari went ahead and got engaged to her footballer boyfriend Jay Cutler, who proposed, appropriately, in Cabo. [People] ● Levi Johnston reveals all in his new, awesomely titled book, Deer in the Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin's Crosshairs. It's got more heart than your average revenge thriller, though, as Johnston says he wrote it with someone special in mind: "For me, for my boy Tripp, and for the country." [People] ● Media treasure chest YouTube is set to launch a movie-on-demand service sometime in the next two weeks, providing competition to iTunes and Netflix by streaming full-length films off the site for a small fee. [Wrap]

● According to January Jones, she doesn't just play Betty Draper, she is Betty Draper. "There was no Betty in the pilot when I auditioned. Matthew Weiner, the creator of the show, had no intention of showing Don Draper's home life," she told W. [W Magazine] ● A bit grabby, now, aren't we Nick? [ONTD] ● According to this week's Village Voice, Donald Glover a.k.a Childish Gambino "represents a new archetype of entertainer—a black nerd who can like white stuff. Not a black nerd in the over-the-top Steve Urkel or Dwayne Wayne sense, but a regular black guy who likes the same stuff white people like—but just happens to be more talented than you." Is this guy creeping on Drake's territory? [Village Voice]