● Ryan Gosling fancies himself more than just a feminist meme. "I think like a girl, I think," he says. "Because I was home-schooled I didn't have a lot of friends and I did ballet, which was always just girls. All of that had an effect on my brain." [NYDN] ● As it turns out, the Lohans aren't too rich to bicker about child support. While Michael was in jail yesterday for domestic abuse, Dina served him papers demanding $11,000 in unpaid child support. [TMZ] ● In an attempt to do all things American while on tour stateside, Prince William bought Coke, bananas, pizza, and beer at Walmart. [Us]

● Lindsay's latest court caper racked up a $135,000 price tag. That'd be $132,500 more than the necklace she stole. [Radar] ● Jennifer Aniston bought a $4.95 million penthouse in the West Village in the name of her depressed dog, Norman. Hopefully they can both find happiness there. [NYP] ● Ivana Trump doesn't seem sure about her ex-husband's proposed presidential run. "It would be terrible for us if he ran. It would be a disaster," she reportedly said. [GateCrasher/NYDN]

● Charlie Sheen's weekend live stream, Sheen's Korner, was boring and rambling and, frankly, just not "winning." And so it seems the wayward star is in talks to develop his own show on billionaire Mark Cuban's cable channel, HDNet. [Yahoo/AP] ● He can talk the talk, but now he wants a diploma too. Kanye West flew to London last week to apply for his Masters in Fashion at Central St. Martins College, a place with which he's already quite familiar: "Kanye spends a lot of time with fashion students and often hooks up with Central's arty pupils when he is in London." Sounds like a shoe-in! [The Sun] ● Miley Cyrus played a mean Justin Bieber and made plenty of bong jokes while hosting SNL. She's really going to be just fine. [NBC]

There's lots of stuff I don't want. I don't want, for example, to be pushed onto the subway tracks during rush hour. I don't exactly want The Meatball Shop to package my beef and my noodles in separate containers. I don't want to hear Justin Bieber talk about his kids. But the thought of having to endure tabloid updates about newly engaged celebrity-circus-stunt-turkeys Michael Lohan and Kate Major is something I so wholly do not want that I'm actually considering putting down the new issue of Star.

● You can watch all 101 episodes of Lost on Hulu (approximately 73 hours), leaving your entire weekend accounted for. No peeing, either. [Hulu] ● Rush Limbaugh doesn't know why he had chest pains, but let's guess prescription pills. In all seriousness, he's judging Saturday's 2010 Miss America Pageant. [People] ● Thirteen J.D. Salinger stories from 1946 to 1965 are available through the The New Yorker's digital edition, if you're into paying for what you read. [New Yorker]

● Elton John told BBC Radio Saturday that he has been there for Eminem during the rapper's battle with drug addiction. But no homo, though. [AP] ● Tabloid cash cow and horrible father Michael Lohan spent the year's first days challenging ex-bff Jon Gosselin to a boxing match, then getting tattooed with Gosselin's ex-girlfriend. Lindsay's 2010 resolution? Punch Dad. [Radar/TMZ] ● It's possible that Beyoncé took a $2 million payday to perform at New Year's Eve party financed by Libya's mob-like military dictator Muammar Gaddafi, solidifying Jay-Z's status as the new Frank Sinatra. [Mediaite]

● Jeremy Piven says his "moobs" (man boobs) came from soy milk abuse; the actor started out as the “guy that dabbled in soy milk” but it quickly escalated into drinking 12 cups a day -- which contained enough estrogen to give him boobs. [Us] ● Michael Lohan says Lindsay Lohan is a “beautiful girl” but “she looks 100 years old." [E!] ●What men think about, according to Kate Hudson: “Game scores, masturbation, and food." [Us]

● In Michael Lohan’s guesstimation, Lindsay Lohan has a week, or a month, or a year to live and needs to be in a long-term rehab, lest she wind up like Heath Ledger, who Michael would like you to know was very close to Lilo. [NYDailyNews] ● Lady Gaga’s ninth tattoo will be a dedication to her father, who lived through open-heart surgery. Fittingly, Gaga plans to get a heart with the word "Dad" inside of it. [ContactMusic] ● Natalie Portman defends her vegetarianism by comparing eating meat to rape. [Celebrity-Gossip]

● Looking to buy a castle or two? Nicolas Cage is unloading all of his castles, mansions, and even his yacht due to his manager losing all his money. [BostonHerald] ● Did Michael Lohan’s Maury Povich plea to Lilo work? Not so much. Lindsay is now seeking a restraining order against her father, saying that she’s “scared” of him. [People] ● American Idol execs have told Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacreast to tone down the gay innuendos and jokes when new judge Ellen Degeneres is on set. [Celebitchy]

● Caring father Michael Lohan vows to get Lindsay off those prescription drugs she’s been taking, so her acting career can finally get back on track. [Radar] ● Speaking of hot mess Lohans, Frances Bean Cobain has written an open letter to Ali Lohan urging her to “work her ass off,” ‘cause Lohan’s “idea of fame isn’t fame.” [Twitter] ● Jenny McCarthy is looking forward to dating “Curly,” as boyfriend Jim Carrey is in the midst of gaining 40 pounds to play him in the upcoming Three Stooges film. [Yahoo]