● According to newly revealed details from a petition for a restraining order filed by Frances Bean against her mom, Courtney Love, in 2009, Frances's "cat died after getting entangled in piles of Etsy fabrics, boxes of paperwork, trash, and other possessions." And then, adding insult to injury, Frances' dog ate a bunch of Courtney's pills and died. [TheFix]

● The Secret Millionaire's Club, Warren Buffets' online animated web series that teaches kids finance basics, will make a grand television debut this weekend. Special guest voice-appearance by Jay-Z. [NYO] ● President Barack Obama isn't happy about all the Keeping Up With The Kardashians his daughters like to watch, but Michelle doesn't mind so long as it's a learning experience. "If they're learning the right lessons, like, that was crazy, then I'm like, okay," she says. [iVillage] ● Courtney Love owes Jacob the Jeweler $113,000 for a pair of diamond hoop earrings and a diamond chain she borrowed and never returned. We're gonna go ahead and say this was Jacob's bad. [NYP]

● We're loving the custom Doo.Ri gown that Michelle Obama wore to last night's state dinner to honor South Korea. [The Cut] ● Lady Gaga wore a dress made of photos of her fans for MAC Cosmetic's latest VIVA GLAM campaign. See if you can spot yourself in the accompanying video. [Grazia]

● Woody Allen's dream leading lady? First Lady Michelle Obama. "If I was in a room with Michelle Obama, and I thought she was right for a part, I wouldn't hesitate to ask her," he says. [USA Today] ● The women of Parks and Recreation made a video of themselves eating Pop Rocks sent to them by Tavi Gevinson, because "P.S. Candy is delicious, and it will always be delicious." [Rookie] ● Good news for all those who still believe in "'til death do us part." Demi Moore is still wearing her wedding ring. [Huff Post]

● Anderson Cooper tried to make a game for his followers, posting a picture of himself shirtless and covered in mud to twitter and asking followers to guess where he was based on hints like "Not a spa. I don't like spas." The dirt will wash off, but the muddy memories are forever. [NYDN] ● Emma Watson ran into the gay porn star who plays her in, uh, Whorrey Potter and the Sorcerer's Balls, which totally "made her night." [HuffPost] ● Jay-Z and Kanye's endgame rap-collaboration Watch The Throne gets a final release date - it'll be available digitally August 1st and in stores August 5th. [Complex]

● The romance has run out of Snooki's actually very sweet sounding relationship. "I think he was just really sad about being away from her so much," reports a friend of Snooki's shy ex. Juiceheads, rejoice: the queen guidette is on the prowl once more. [PopEater] ● In a further effort to win the attention of America's screen-bound youth, FOTUS Michelle Obama will appear on Nickelodeon's iCarly. [AP] ● Spider-Man the musical is finally a "frozen" production, meaning no new changes between now and opening day. No new scripts, no new choreography, and definitely no new sets -- even if it's the Empire State Building that's asking. [NYT/ArtsBeat]

Sarah Palin and Fox News have based their latest quarrel with the Obamas on the most absurd of topics—Michelle Obama’s White House “Poetry Night.” The First Lady’s decision to invite rapper Common to the semi-annual event really irritated Sarah Palin and her merry band of conservative followers, who displayed their knack for clever wordplay by calling him a “common thug.” Yesterday Fox News threw out the word “vile,” and last night Sean Hannity chimed in on the blindly narrow-minded debate.

Team Obama is unstoppable right now. While Barack was out dispatching Osama and turning Trump into the laughing stock of the media, First Lady Michelle Obama was focusing on her childhood anti-obesity campaign, titled ‘Let’s Move!’ And sometimes, even if you’re the First Lady, you’ve just got to do what the kids are doing—in this case, the Dougie!

● "I didn't have a childhood," says Katy Perry in this month's Vanity Fair. This might explain her candy fetish. [Vanity Fair] ● Someone taught Michelle Obama to dance the dougie and America's all the better for it. [RapRadar] ● Lindsay Lohan was so eager to get to community service that she forgot to put on her bra! [Gawker]

Since before fashion week slammed into New York City, questions about who, exactly, was outfitting the first lady in Marc Jacobs and McQueen were left artfully unanswered, though most everyone fingered Meredith Koop, a White House aide, as Michelle’s latest stylist. "For what it's worth, I hear that Ikram Goldman, the Chicago retailer, is no longer directly involved with Mrs. Obama's wardrobe, since December," the New York Times’ beloved baritone Cathy Horyn smuggled into a recent article. Last night, the Washington Post put an end to the speculation.