● Beyoncé is due in February, assuming she's due at all. [PopDust] ● An Ira Glass sex tape, in the style of This American Life. Nuff said. [A.V. Club] ● Amy Winehouse's devoted dad is working on a "heartfelt and revelatory memoir" about his late daughter. Is a father-daughter tribute album to follow? [ArtsBeat/NYT]

● This years Cannes is a wrap, and Terrence Malick's The Tree of Life took the Palm d'Or, while Kirsten Dunst earned Best Actress, presumably for her performance at the now infamous Melancholia press conference. [THR] ● Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez shared their most public kiss (on the lips!) yet, after Bieber won Best New Artist at last night's Billboard Awards. [JustJared] ● When it comes to the ladies -- and as we now know, there have been a lot of ladies -- "unstoppable womanizer" Arnold Schwarzenegger has been known to aim low, opting for the more "grateful" plain Janes. "The physical is most important to him and he does not want to be upstaged or lose the spotlight in company of a strikingly beautiful woman," reports the New York Post. Gross. [NYP]

● Rihanna's new neck tattoo reads "rebelle fleur," or "rebel flower," except in French, the adjective goes after the noun. Come to think of it, it doesn't make sense either way. [PopEater] ● Britney Spears is back in the studio. Her new music will sound like a mix of her old music and Lady Gaga. [Celebuzz] ● Down the rabbit hole: "Inside the Weird World of Justin Bieber Micro-Gossip." It's dark in here. [Gawker]

In these times of economic hardship, paying your rent can be a difficult task. Especially if you're Mischa Barton and have owe three months of back-rent on your $7,000 a month TriBeCa one-bedroom. Sure it looked gorgeous: A shiny bit of housing you purchased prematurely, not realizing that your crappy soap about the perils of being beautiful could only hold a very limited appeal. But whether it's $70 a month plus indentured servitude in Flushing, $700 a month in the Bronx, or $7,000 a month in TriBeCa, the inability to pay rent on-time is a universal tragedy. So instead of judging Barton for failing to follow through on a contract she signed willingly, here are some tips and tricks she can consult in trying to overcome the hurdles of Manhattan housing.

● Liberals are about as good at radio as they are at government: Air America is filing for bankruptcy and going off the air. [Washington Post] ● Mischa Barton is being sued for failing to pay her $7,000-a-month Tribeca rent. In her defense, the landlord keeps refusing rolled up hundreds. [HuffPo] ● A scorned lover of Oracle co-president and Obama cohort Charles E. Phillips purchased billboards and a website to publicize the pair's illicit romance and her brilliant insanity. [Gawker]

● Mo'Nique rocked her version of the "playoff beard," showing off her unshaven legs on the red carpet at the Golden Globes. [TMZ] ● Someone auto-tuned a Martin Luther King Jr. speech because the internet is a wonderful and horrifying place. [Buzzfeed] ● A 70-year-old man was sentenced to two years in prison after being caught crossing the border from Canada to the United States with 40,000 ecstasy pills, or as he called it, the real man's Viagra. [Daily Weekly]

And finally, your moment of celebrity obviety today comes courtesy of beleaguered everywoman Mischa Barton. High off the success of The Beautiful Life, Barton has confided to tabloids, "I'm ridiculously clumsy, you'd never want to date me. I'm an embarrassment. I wouldn't even know where to start with telling you things that I've walked into." Er, okay! Misch, I know that all sarcasm aside, TBS was kind of like a cold sore to your CV, a glaring mark of shame. But really that's no reason to put yourself down! Good gravy, woman.

● She may not have a job and was placed on an involuntary psych hold earlier this year, but Mischa Barton can take solace knowing she’s never been dumped. [NewMag] ● Some women hide from the title of a MILF ... not supermodel Cindy Crawford. She embraces her MILF status; just don’t call her a cougar, that’s all on Demi Moore. [Showbizspy] ● Jeremy Piven has been fish-free for a year, and he’s finally back to his old self. Senor Piven was seen getting an impromptu lap dance at Teddy’s to Kings of Leon’s “Sex on Fire.” [P6]

There's absolutely nothing you can't not like about this. Mischa Barton dressed up as a peacock on Halloween and was left shrieking with horror when she erroneously stepped on a partygoer's foot at some nondescript nightclub She also "accidentally" lobbed a cocktail at this reveler's head, causing him to freak out and hurl a cocktail back at her. Then a row, the type of circumstance you couldn't conjure on a sartorial soap like Barton's short-lived Beautiful Life, erupted, and suddenly it was Soapdish all over again, with drink-chuckers coveting the Elisabeth Shue role, violently claiming not to be heinously bitchy like Cathy Moriarty. Chin up, Misch! Your Devil Day was much better than mine, all things considered!

Since being hospitalized not too long ago, Mischa Barton has made a full recovery. And some friends are pointing at a new love of music for lifting her spirits. They claim singing folk-rock songs was what helped Barton out of the mental ward and back into everyday reality. But of course they're totally and utterly wrong and probably deserve to have their fingers snapped off as such. Barton's publicist has dismissed all such reports, adding, "Although she's a big music fan, she's never had any aspirations to [record] herself." Although, apart from musician boyfriends, Barton's also once been spotted shopping for guitars.