Following her Best Actress Oscar victory for The Black Swan, Natalie Portman took maternity leave so she could raise her child, like any responsible mother would. After a year, the hiatus is over: Deadline reports that she's just signed on to star in two Terrence Malick films, both set to shoot this year. For the first, Knights of the Cups, she'll join Christian Bale, Cate Blanchett and Isabel Lucas; in the second, Lawless, she'll be alongside Bale, Blanchett, Ryan Gosling, Rooney Mara and Haley Bennett. No plot details are forthcoming, of course, just the way Malick likes it. 

● Something happened last night on Kanye West's twitter: over three hours and in 70 or so tweets, he unveiled plans for a magical and mysterious enterprise he calls DONDA, after his late mother. “We need to pick up where steve jobs left off,” he said, and so he is looking to bring in all sorts of people to do all sorts of things like, uh, teach math, design a new MTV awards, and help him with his new seven-screen experience. Or something. It's contactDONDA@gmail.com, if you think you can help! [HuffPost/KanyeWest Twitter]

Natalie Portman's having quite the 2012. First, she won the Best Actress Oscar for her hysterical/weepy performance in Black Swan. Then she had a baby, or something. But the finest honor was announced today: Portman's topped the list of IMDB's Top Stars of 2011, as decided by user hits on an actor's IMDB page. She unseated Johnny Depp, who's apparently ranked #1 for six of the last seven years -- he moves to #3, while Mila Kunis shoots into the #2 slot. 

● This series of text messages between baby mama Mariah Yeater and a friend, as obtained by TMZ, seem to prove that Bieber is not the father of her child. “ERASE ALL MESSAGES from my mom where she says Tristyn is Robbies Son,” she begs a friend, promising him a cut of her now unlinkely court winnings. [TMZ]

● Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied have named their now one-month-old son Aleph, as in the first letter of the Hebrew alphabet. [People] ● Jennifer Aniston used the movie The Breakup to get over her real-life breakup with Brad Pitt. "It was just a beautiful story about a couple breaking up. And I was slightly familiar on the topic and the issue," she tells James Lipton in an upcoming episode of Inside The Actors Studio. [HollywoodLife] ● Angelina Jolie and Sarah Jessica Parker sit atop this year's list of Hollywood's highest paid, followed by Jenn Aniston, Reese Witherspoon, and Cameron Diaz. Mature Hollywood makes it rain. [LAT]

● Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied welcomed their baby boy into the world yesterday. No word yet on name or photos, but surely, we'll be made more familiar soon. [People] ● Scandal in Playboy land! Just five days before they were scheduled to walk down the aisle, Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris have called off their wedding. And according to today's Page Six, they did so with good reason: Apparently Crystal Harris had been secretly offered $500,000 to ditch Hef at the alter in order to make a "media sensation" of their Lifetime TV special wedding. They called things off early when she decided she couldn't go through with it. But Hugh, ever the playboy, already has new weekend plans. [Page Six] ● L.A. music promoter Robert Ross told a court yesterday that he had been kidnapped by gang members who were looking for a Shaq sex tape. When they couldn't find the tape, they settled for Ross's diamond earrings, a Rolex watch, and $15,000 in cash instead. [CNN]

● Nic Cage was arrested this weekend in New Orleans for domestic abuse after a drunken argument between Cage and his wife, Alice, spilled out of a tattoo parlor and on to the streets. Things got truly weird was when "dedicated fan" Dog the Bounty Hunter showed up to post Cage's bail. [TMZ] ● It seems like Sarah Lane is pretty mad about not being credited for the exact number of pirouettes she did for Black Swan, but she insists it's not like that. "They threatened the entire principle of ballet," she's now saying. Really! It's not about the fame, just the art. "I don't feel disgruntled, but I did wish she could have said something nice about ballet instead of saying it's horrible and that it was awful." [EW] ● Eddie Vedder on his upcoming ukulele record: "Can I make this happy little instrument as depressed as I am?" [NYT]

● Kimberly Stewart, of all people, is pregnant with Benicio del Toro's child. Remember all those times you were embarrassed by your father? The opposite is going to happen to this kid. [Life & Style] ● Here's a quickie video of a random photographer calling John Galliano a 'fucking racist' at LAX. [TMZ] ● Jim Carrey took a razor to the sides of his head, and now I'm writing about it. What that says about the world we live in (and myself) is too depressing to contemplate. [Jim Carrey/Twitter]

● The New York Post made a mistake. Toni Braxton did not actually say: "I have a big-ass house, three cars and I fly first class all around the world. Some say I have the perfect life." Oops! [NYP] ● "Finally Mylie!" the Miley Cyrus sex doll -- complete with "three achy love holes" -- sold out in 48 hours. It seems best not to ask too many questions. [The Sun] ● Late last night Britney Spears' tweeted a link to the video for her new single, "Till The World Ends." The video looks not unlike "I'm A Slave 4 U," minus, the awesome dancing. Which is not to say Britney doesn't try to dance here, just that, well, she doesn't do it very well anymore. [YouTube]

April 1: Groundhog Day, meet the War on Terror! Jake Gyllenhaal relives a train bombing, over and over again, in the techno-thriller Source Code. April 2: LCD Soundsystem will hang up their laptops following the dance-punk band’s final show ever at Madison Square Garden. April 3: AMC adds The Killing, an original series about a murder investigation, to its feel-good line-up of Mad Men, Breaking Bad, and The Walking Dead.