Not to be outdone by Beijing and pretty Chinese girls lip-syncing songs sung by less comely Chinese girls, England is pulling out the big guns for the 2012 London Olympics. Olympics officials have announced that Oscar-winning director Danny Boyle will serve as artistic director for the opening ceremony. And that's not all. Director Stephen Daldry will lead a team of four "creatives" in charge of overseeing and producing the opening and closing ceremonies.

Seemingly everywhere you look these days another celebrity is launching a tween line. Fist the Olsens went back to their roots, designing an exclusive line called Olsenboye for J.C. Penney geared towards middle and high schoolers. Meanwhile, Madonna just announced that her second-ever design attempt for Macy's will be inspired by her daughter Lordes (who is lending her sartorial expertise to the collection) and will befit tweens far better than women even half Madonna's age. Now, apparently not one but two olympians are looking to cash in on the trend. Vancouver gold medalist Shaun White will design a line for Target called Shaun White 4 Target that will be aimed at boys and young men.

Winter Olympics 2010 have come to a close, and as inspirational sports movies have forever conditioned us to believe, it was a “learning experience.” A small sampling of the knowledge gained: Fourteen condoms per athlete just don’t cut it, Canada’s hockey heroines know how to party (and offend while doing so), and apparently, Shaun White is the Cuban cigar of extreme sports –whatever that means.

Today, the day after the 2010 Winter Olympics, is a day for reflection on what went wrong and what went right at the games in Vancouver. We could talk about landing triple axels, speedskating disqualifications, or opening ceremony choreography, but the most important thing to take from the Olympics seems to be this: when you get a bunch of young, highly pressurized, socially-starved misfits in peak physical condition together and then suddenly release that pressure (after their events), there's a whole lot sex going on. No really, there is a lot of bangin'. The Today Show estimated that there were 14 condoms each for the 7,000 athletes, but that wasn't enough.The Olympic Village ran out of condoms and had to import them from other parts of Canada. Now, as it prepares to host the World Cup later this year, South Africa is taking a lesson from the events in Vancouver and making sure there are plenty of rubbers on hand.

Nobody really knows why Olympic winners feel compelled to bite their medals. The easy answer: it's a gag based on testing the medal for the authenticity of the precious metals allegedly contained therein. In its usual approach to methodical buzzkill, Slate once explained how this was not a practical way to determine whether or not your medal is really gold, silver, or bronze. And unsurprisingly, Yahoo Answers has no better answer either. David Moeller, a silver medalist luger from Germany, found out to his sorrow that the joke isn't that funny when you actually break a tooth doing it. In truth, the medal-biting is just an allegedly comical bit enforced by the media, as they urge medalists to repeat the pose again and again. Why, even Johnny Weir does it! After the jump, enjoy a visual journey through years of mandibular athleticism.

The U.S. may be behind Germany in the medal count at the Vancouver Olympics, but we're easily beating the Teutons where it counts: the Laziness rankings. The Daily Beast ranks the 24 laziest countries, based on calorie consumption, television viewing, sports aversion, and internet usage, but not, oddly enough, hours worked per week. With such criteria, it's not surprising that the old U.S. of A. easily takes the top spot. We lead in calorie consumption (an event we're sort of natural at, like the Kenyans and marathons) and television viewing (um, yeah, because we have a great selection of channels, including the great gift that is Bravo). Just who else makes the list?

The hottest athletes in Vancouver

The writer talks Vancouver

Resistance officially became futile at 11 AM Pacific time today, as the first ski-jumper began competing in the first event of the Vancouver Winter Olympics. Vice President Joe Biden arrived last night, joining international dignitaries, old school royalty like Princess Anne and Monaco’s Prince Albert and fashion royalty like US Olympic team outfitter Ralph Lauren and supermodel Cindy Crawford (and many believe her pal George Clooney), as well as current and past Olympic stars like Shaun White, Lindsey Vonn, Katarina Witt and Kristi Yamaguchi. Governor Schwarzenegger called in a favor from his local counterpart to carry the torch along the famed Stanley Park seawall early this morning to a predictably vocal crowd both in person and online.

I’m sure this has happened to you, too: You’re setting up for a epic party, the kind that only comes around every few years, and everything is perfect. You even got a new tattoo because you wanted to make sure your party was going to be extra sweet. And then you realize you forgot the snow! The whole party is ruined, any chance of having fun eliminated.