"I’m not even sure that I believe identity exists."

Ohmygod muggles! Today is the big day! Yes, the Wizarding World of Harry Potter opens to the public today at Universal Orlando Resort, allowing Potter-maniacs across this great country, around this great globe, to live, for a moment, within J.K. Rowling's magical world. Also, it will make lots of money. While we tend to shy away from all things Orlando, it's hard to ignore Harry. After the jump, all you need to know about the mega theme park du jour.

A.A. Gill makes good sport of Kentucky's Creation Museum over at Vanity Fair. A $27 million non-museum highlighting very Christian dioramas of biblical scenarios and humanist-refuting tableaux, the joint makes for an easy target. "This place doesn’t just take on evolution -- it squares off with geology, anthropology, paleontology, history, chemistry, astronomy, zoology, biology, and good taste." Gill's hilarious, though his target couldn't be more of a setup, and his contempt for anyone not coastally slim, slick, and smart eventually gets a little embarrassing. Even the Washington Post's Ian Shapira can't help tut-tutting at the plight of the poor (non-evolving) monkey in this barrel. In fact, there's a much better mark for this kind of ire: Orlando's Holy Land Experience theme park. I've made the pilgrimage, and verily, it sucketh.

Wireless internet service at airports is becoming more rule, less exception. Google has embraced the holiday spirit by distributing free Wi-Fi at 47 U.S. airports until January 15, 2010. And several airlines have begun to offer wireless service on board flights, ensuring that jetting won’t hinder your daily routine of stalking your exes on Facebook. In a recent survey by American Airlines and HP, 47% of business travelers indicated that Wi-Fi was more valued than food during their flight. People are looking to stay connected with the outside world, especially while in transit. While many airports now offer wireless, some are better at it than others.

All right, I'll admit it, I'm a huge Harry Potter fan. And I couldn't be more tickled that the oh-so popular wizard boy is getting his own theme park down in Orlando. Some enterprising Potter fans have unearthed the patents for some of the names of the restaurants, rides, and shops inside The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. The park will most likely be aimed at youngsters, but with Academy Award winner Stuart Craig on staff -- he's designed all the sets for film series so far -- it might be a cool place to check out. Though Universal Studios is determined to keep much of the plans secret before the opening in 2010, industrious Potterphiles have cracked some of mysteries behind the scenes. The most intriguing find: The large ride under construction at the back of the Florida theme park will be called Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey. Universal Studios describes the ride as a state-of-the-art attraction that will “bring the magic, characters and stories of Harry Potter to life.” Two other existing rides will be re-themed to fit into the Wizarding World:

Calling it: three times = trend. That would be the ploy of running a contest in search of some lucky SOB who'll get to partake in a super-fun gig in exchange for a good chunk of change and a larger hunk of publicity for the contest sponsor. Ben Southall is reporting for work as of July 1, after beating out 35,000 applicants to score the sweet gig in Hamilton Island, Australia, where he gets paid six figures to snorkel and blog about it for the remainder of 2009. Over in Sonoma County, CA, the Murphy Goode winery is wrapping up their search for the "Murphy-Goode Wine Country Lifestyle Correspondent. The winner in this case will get paid $10,000 a month to drink wine, scout picnic locations, and of course, blog all about it to all the jealous armchair travelers. Applications are due June 19. Adding to the fray, Orlando is launching a contest to find a couple (a new twist!) who can take 67 days (why 67? I don't know) to ride every ride in the half-dozen theme parks in the Orlando area, including Disney World, Sea World, and Universal Studios.