Fashion Week is sort of like the groundhog that never sees its shadow for clubland. It portends a quick end to the cold winter. January, except for the three-day weekend that celebrates Dr. Martin Luther King Day, is usually a financial bust for clubs, bars, and restaurants. Football playoffs help some of the venues and indeed defines revenue for the sports bars, but in general the post-Christmas cash crunch and New Years recovery spells trouble. Tourists, a huge part of our hospitality economy, do not come here during our frigid winters. A great many New Yorkers, often referred to as Snow Birds, head south to enjoy Miami, the Carribean, and other warm weather locales where "the season" is in full swing. Fashion Week carries joints through the cruel short month of February. Valentine's Day provides a spending spike and then it's on to the spring with all its sexy good times.

When I arrived late to a brunch at Le Caprice yesterday, gentlemanly host Zac Posen interrupted his meal mid-bite to graciously welcome me to his affair. I was already riding high with anxiety—arriving late only to discover that the room was filled with the most recognizable faces in the fashion and journalism worlds. But his warm welcome, combined with the fact that I was about to enjoy some mid-day cocktails courtesy of Belvedere Bloody Mary, put me immediately at ease.

Tonight, Vanity Fair will host a party at Bumble and Bumble for the StyleLikeU book. Forget about attending—the list has been closed for eons. But I used to be Steve Lewis, so they invited me. No worries, I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow -- or go to 1OAK for the afterparty. I caught up with StyeLikeU’s Dani Baum and asked her all about it.

Clear from your mind every thought of morality, legality, guilt, good manners, and common sense. Taking only your id into account, conjure an image of the ultimate party. There's food, of course. Rich, decadent fare like steak, lobster, oysters, caviar, and all manner of sweets. Plenty of booze, too, no doubt: fine vodkas and whiskies, wine for the food, champagne for both drinking and spraying. All manner of other intoxicants too, if you like. No dealer's going to sweat you, no cop will arrest you. Some smoke to let your thoughts soar, some sniffy to get you going? All good. There's lively music, there's dancing, and lord are there girls - and guys. They're hot, they're naked, and they can't keep their hands off you, so feel free to indulge in the pleasures of the flesh. What else do you need? Hot tubs, saunas, bubbles? Done, done, and done. Here's heaven on earth: you want it, you take it. Sound enticing? Well, you could keep on imagining it, or you could head on over to Moscow right now, hook up with the right crowd, and do this every night.

Party: Carmen Kass hosts cocktails and hors d'oeuvres to celebrate the launch of beyond7boutique.com with Reet Aus. Time: 5PM-8PM Perks: Music by The Misshapes. More: Dear Carmen Kass, I love you. You could be hosting craptinis in your grandmother’s basement and I would be more than thrilled to go. Also, can we be friends? Thank you for having us, Holly.

It seems like just yesterday I was trying my best to blend in with the Angelenos in LA; poolside laptop browsing, egg white omelets, driving. Alas, I'm back in New York, wondering how it’s possible to so easily trade in rooftop workdays for subway transit, and remembering how nice it was to have my nightlife plans involve only one bar or club per night. LA people don’t exactly bar hop; all of their energy is poured into having a great time at the one venue they’ve chosen for the evening, which essentially means they create the atmosphere themselves. I had a little anxiety about having only one item on my nightlife agenda per evening. In my NY mind, it’s risky to go all in on just one hand, but with Sebastian’s 25th Anniversary Party on Tuesday night, where designer Pamela Love unveiled the Re-Shaper bottle she re-designed, and live hair and fashion shows were held alongside sets from the Sounds and Prince Poppycock, I didn’t have to worry. In fact, as I entered the Paramount Backlot for the major event, I found myself back in New York.

Last night, the Plaza Lobby Bar in the iconic Plaza Hotel in New York was invaded by vampires, or at least by actors who play vampires in the upcoming comedy/horror film, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Undead. Stars of the film, including Jake Hoffman ("Arrested Development"), Devon Aoki (Sin City), John Ventimiglia ("The Sopranos"), and Danny Masterson ("That '70s Show"), mixed and mingled with the other 100 guests in attendance, partying the night away to beats provided by DJ Equal. The cast party celebrated the wrap of Rosencrantz, a movie that manages to intertwine Shakespeare, the Holy Grail, and the undead, all captured through the lens of the revolutionary Red One camera. Perhaps the vampire theme rubbed off on the partygoers, who stayed out all night and departed when the sun came up.

Reader, If I could impart one piece of nightlife advice it would be the following. Don’t start off a night with a terrible hangover when the BVLGARI Diagono Watch Collection, and Rock & Republic “Summer at The Beatrice Inn” are on the itinerary. Furthermore, it’s best not to attend an event celebrating anything having more than two consecutive consonants in its name with said terrible hangover, espcially if it's being held at Frank Gehry’s sleek IAC Building. The elegance of it all will make you feel like the tuna tar-tar being passed around. Instead, don your best Proenza Schouler with the prior knowledge that you’ll be bumping into beautiful people like Sean Avery, Simon Spurr, and New York Jets center Nick Mangold, and that later at the Beatrice, you’ll be dancing with Kirsten Dunst, Sia, Emma Snowdon-Jones and May Anderson. A cautionary tale.

Renowned restaurateur Jeffrey Chodorow—who helms over 30 chic restaurants throughout the world—hosted an exclusive BlackBook and Hennessy GDR event at Kobe Club Miami. Media types and beach glitterati packed the stunningly-designed hotspot while sipping on delicious custom Hennessy cocktails such as Hennessy Sidecar, Hennessy Mojito and Hennessy Ginger. DJ Erok warmed up the decks for celebrated DJ Irie who laid down beats, keeping guests dancing well into the night.

Their client list includes A-listers like George Clooney, Jennifer Aniston and Tobey Maguire. Funke traveled overseas on a military tour as the main act and official deejay of the Government (seriously). But despite their pedigree, here, the superstar party-starters talk candidly about porn-star 'frappuccinos,' Paris Hilton's dirty money, and Sir Ian McKellen's Voguing.