Remember this? Close your eyes tight. Burn all two minutes and forty-three seconds of that into your brain. Done? Good. Because it's all about to get really, really ugly. Courtney Love's life has been on shaky ground for a while now. She's just lost custody of daughter Frances Bean who decided to skip off to her grandmother's house. On top of all this? Perez Hilton has put up a long rant he claims Love posted on her Facebook page, which include sharp jabs at her own daughter.

Well, I guess that almost resolves one of the thousands of outstanding feuds that Perez Hilton Inc. (comprised of Mario and sister Barbara Lavandeira) is waging with the world. Recall some bang-up one of them -- Mario, obviously -- had with a member of Black Eyed Peas in Toronto earlier this year. Yes, because if you're going to get into an argument with a member of the only band to hold the American charts hostage, it's best to do it on Canadian astroturf. But you know, water, bridge, "under the", and so forth. It's humbling, though not unsurprising given Hilton's petty tendencies, to see the Black Eyed Peas' manager take the higher road.

You know that expression, "there's a little truth in every joke," right? It has to be, in some regard, applicable to advertising. In this case, professional gossipcreature Perez Hilton is now (1) statistically "influential" and (2) helping the end of the world advertise. Of course.

● Michael Lohan is suing Perez Hilton so he “stops with the pornographic and the obscene material” on his website…meaning he wants Perez to stop drawing penises on his daughters faces. [Contact Music] ● Angelina Jolie is taking over for Charlize Theron in the film The Tourist where she will play yet another gun-toting bad-ass. This time it’s an Interpol agent who manipulates an American tourist for her own purposes. [Just Jared] ● Britney Spears is really dedicated to staying sober. That’s why she’s insisting on random drug testing for her whole tour crew (all 225 of them) while they are touring Australia. [Herald Sun]

● Despite what Perez Hilton reported via his Twitter, Jaclyn Smith of Charlie’s Angels fame did not try to kill herself in Honduras. [Twitter, ET] ● Khloe Kardashian may or may not be getting married to Lamar Odom this weekend, but at least her mom Kris approves, saying quickie weddings are “romantic,” and adding that’s how she and Bruce Jenner did it. [Us] ● Kevin Federline is finally going to do something about that K-Fat moniker by joining his first baby mama, Shar Jackson, on Celebrity Fit Club. [TMZ]

In every emerging pop star's life, there comes a time when, in the desperate pursuit of success, she aggressively roars forward with every gig, every opportunity, to make her name household. Discretion gets thrown to the wind and reality doesn't sink in until she taps her finger on the mic just moments before asking, "Is this thing on?" And then she sees the venue filled not to even an eighth of its total capacity and suffers from cardiac arrest. For Ida Maria, such a moment was signing on as part of blogging Teletubby Perez Hilton's "Perez Hilton Presents 2009" tour. Apparently she got up on stage at Boston's House of Blues, freaked out and ran off-stage. We could blame it on the alcohol, blame it on the music, or blame it on the swine.

Yesterday, Tyra Banks, a noted denizen of Fierceland via her Twitter, pacted with Perez Hilton on her show yesterday, promising him a fame and fortune by way of a America's Next Top Model guest judge turn. He consented. Then, minutes later, he (or his sister Barbara) scribbled this bit of uninspired nastiness about Rumer Willis. And today, we await the lowering of a gavel. Remember, Banks is a resident of Fierceland, where even the wolves have lipstick on their teeth and Vaseline rains from the heavens.

Perez Hilton's getting into the fashion blogging game with a newly launched venture, CocoPerez.com. The queen of celebrity gossip's new porthole features a similar layout and feel to his namesake outlet; however, here it's celeb's clothes and designers that are the focus (where "celebrity meets fashion" as Perez himself puts it before lip syncing to Lady Gaga's "Fashion" on camera in honor of the blog's launch). So far there are sprinklings of People (Victoria Beckham and Claudia Schiffer face-off for a Perez-approved edition of 'who wore it better?') and fellow fashion blogger Bryanboy (Perez posts a makeup tutorial from Gloria, the same over-the-top Chola expert, Bryanboy wrote about recently).

● Lindsay Lohan is on the cover of Vogue Espana doing her best Marilyn-by-way-of-Lady Gaga pose. Again. [JustJared] ● Things could be worse -- Lindsay could be Mischa Barton who, after her police assisted trip to the hospital, has been put under a 5150, a.k.a. an involuntary psych hold a.k.a. pullin’ a Britney. [People] ● Although Iron Man II isn’t coming out till next summer, EW has exclusive images of Robert Downey Jr. and Mickey Rourke as their alter egos. [EW]

Oh, hello, casual music listener. Did you know that corporate America just handed over a wad of cash to a large pink alien who feasts off the souls of the rich and famous to tell us what music we should listen to? But the thing we all love to romanticize about the internet is that it's a veritable orgy of unsolicited thoughts and pilfered ideas, and that is how the internet functions. The minute you commit a bit of brilliance to the internet, it flutters away like a fat, inbred pigeon into the vast wilderness of hypertext markup. However, it becomes problematic when someone like Warner Bros. bankrolls this sort of grifting. I suppose no one would mind if the nickels and pennies were going to someone whose life's work consisted not of sketching dongs and coke trails onto paparazzi photos, but something just a millimeter deeper. Or if it went straight to the source where Perez Hilton nabs his "recommendations" from and not Hilton himself, who's just the sloppy middleman.