And finally, the day brings us to the biggest turkey of the year: Levi "If Paris Hilton can be a celebrity so can I!" Johnston. Seems he's so drunk on all the attention we've been paying him and his bum crack, that he thinks he's ready for television success. It's here that we implore the gods of culture (are you there, Maria Montez?) to press the reset button with relentless abandon. We ask them to CTRL-ALT-DEL everything in 2010, so any lingering interest in Levi Johnston won't be the general public's, but that of a certain porn king who owns Chelsea. However, Johnston's lobbying to shoehorn his way into fameball factory Dancing WIth the Stars.

Back in August 1995, Type O Negative frontman Peter Steele did a Playgirl cover. And man, he did it right. Readers from that dusty era may remember Steele's unflinching verve--and how he saw the NSFW centerfold role for what it was: A smart way to drum up publicity. Also, he didn't half-ass it (har har!) In fact, he unabashedly pushed Canadian decency laws. Sure the trade-off for showing the full monty meant that Steele would age into a cultish camp figure instead of an immortal goth rock dreamboat. But fundamentally, he'll be remembered for having the cojones to showcase his, well, cojones. In the 14 years of delightful moral erosion following Steele's Playgirl glory, we can't say the same for the first man of Wasilla. Playgirl's new best: a tame monochromatic Levi propped up against a bathroom wall at a Taco Bell somewhere. Blah.

Apparently, people really wanna see this kid's wang. The Huffington Post has posted in quite the huff this preview of Levi Johnston's upcoming Playgirl spread. In a matter of hours, 862 learned, articulate and web-savvy readers have commented on the photo of a 19-year-old aspiring model from Wasilla. Not much is known about the shoot, except that he looks to be showering, or perhaps sweating shirtless in a tiled prison. The New York Post promises 90% full-frontal nudity. Playgirl consultant Daniel Nardicio's Twitter feed said there would be a hockey stick involved. In any case, it's funny that so many people are heading over to news sites to look at a naked man. But this isn't the first time a male celebrity has caused a ruckus by going rogue.