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Call it a freakish cosmic coincidence, but it was just three days ago that I finalized the specifications of my Katy Perry-inspired Real Doll. The manufacturers of the life-size love dolls told me they couldn't replicate Perry exactly without the singer's permission (she ignored my MySpace messages), but that they could create a doll that "strongly resembled her," promising to nail everything from her raven malt-shoppe hairdo, to her ample bosom, all the way down to the one-centimeter difference between her right baby toe and the left one (the tan lines were my personal touch). Good enough for me! Now though, I may need to cancel my order because Integrity Toys, designers of high-end fashion dolls, have announced plans to give birth the Katy Perry Fashion Doll.

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