I'm in some small town in Virginia, parking with relatives until a business meeting this afternoon. It's all pumpkins and fake cobwebs, as here, Halloween is all about kids and tricks or treats. We left AC to go to DC, and I don't need any wise cracks from the peanut gallery. We are exhausted from our trip to the Borgata and its whirlwind '80s weekend. Everything was sold out, and people who read my Friday article were trying to hustle me for hookups. There are a billion reasons why Borgata sells out on these big weekends. Basically, as the only game in town, it refuses to rest on its laurels and continues to book great acts, events and DJs.

What is it going to take to get you to try Hennessy Black? How about a renowned DJ performing for a party in Miami Beach while suspended from a helicopter hovering 350 feet above the ocean. Would that do the trick? Because that's what the world's largest cognac producer did last weekend at the Fontainebleau to celebrate its latest spirit, and frankly, I don't know how they could top it. Your move, Courvoisier.

“I’m a city girl and my brand is for city girls..."

"In America, I'm Mark Ronson, Samantha's brother."

● It's official. Joss Whedon is directing The Avengers. Nerds, rejoice. Jocks, shove said nerds into lockers. [/Film] ● There aren't any new oil spills or wars, so everyone is contemplating Tom Cruise's height relative to Cameron Diaz's. [The Huffington Post] ● Sam Ronson visits Lindsay in the slammer, proving the easiest way to win back an ex is stone cold incarceration. [TMZ]

Nightclubs used to be all about “bookings”. Every year I would get a brand new calendar with nice blank dates and I would do my darndest to fill in the blanks. Even the best of joints needed daily events to fill time slots and weak nights, especially during the week nights. A Wednesday invariably needed an event to fill the room, especially early. Most clubs were jammed around 12:30 or 1, so it was necessary to have a party that would seed the room. Without these events, early arrivals (which were mostly tourists) would sit around an empty room, looking at each other while listening to lounge music. Their experience, and the tale they took home to their friends, would be negative. At Life we often booked concerts, or allowed corporate parties to stay on when the cool crowd came. The theory was that nobody who came at 10 would still be there at 2, when the action really started. Bookings at the big casino/hotels in Vegas and Atlantic City not only bring people into the room, but serve as a shout out to the world. An add announcing Sting, Jerry Seinfeld, or Stevie Nicks does much more than advertise that specific show. The ad tells the world that the Borgata has world class shows, and is the place to be. It is very much an association, directly linking to the resort brand. My visit to the Borgata this past weekend had me hanging with in-house public relations honcho, Noel Stevenson, and Gregg Coyle, who is the Borgata’s Director of Nightlfe,

Once upon a time, we used to be a civilized nation--and our barometer for success was Lindsay Lohan's rising star. And then, the broken institution that is Child Protective Services failed to wrench Lohan away from her parasitic parents. So the Parent Trap starlet crashed, burned and became a one-woman personification of American decline. Which then puts us here: Lohan reportedly getting smacked around by ex Samantha Ronson. And according to an insider's confession, this Whitney Houston-Bobby Brown dynamic has become routine for the pair.

Welcome to what feels like day 4,586 of my masochistic obsession with Tila Tequila. It's been three days since I last wrote about her, and there's much to catch up on: Her invitation to appear on Larry King's show was retracted, but now CNN apparently wants her back. She is now allegedly fighting for custody of her late fiancee's adopted 3-year-old daughter Ava. She has started a record label, unveiled her new blog, took down her first blog post, applied to become an "Ambassador 4 Vietnam," revealed the identity of the father of the baby she says she's carrying, had her phone number posted online, changed numbers, puked, then described it for her Twitter followers, and has renounced her self-baptism as Tila Tequila. In all of this, she has also revealed herself to be God's messenger, and warns her fans against apocalypse.

As the decade starts to fold up, mash up seems to be developing the status of a genre. House DJ's command six figure fees and sell out stadiums overseas, while in America the hottest spots feature DJ's that offer a little bit of this and a little bit of that. Tonight at The Borgata in fabulous Atlantic City, DJ Vice and Samantha Ronson will DJ together for the first time. I love the idea of mega DJs playing around, playing off each other, experimenting. Atlantic City is close enough for a day trip and Borgata continues to be committed to offering Vegas like talent and service to the Eastern seaboard.

Well, crap. In trying to play relationship whisperer to Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson, John Mayer has unwillingly made himself into the latest love of LiLo's life. Lately, Lohan has been weaving a veritable Charlotte's Web of men, spinning such leading men like Gerard Butler and Ryan Phillippe into the fractured Greek tragedy of her life. According to an onlooker who was having a chat with E!, "She would follow his every move. He would dance with the waitresses and then come back. She was way into it. Sam and Lindsay were getting along great, but as friends." Apparently it was a magical night at Butter, where love was in the air.