No one would, it seems. According to the Hollywood Reporter, the former Alaskan governor has been trying to pitch a new reality show about her husband Todd's career as a snowmobile racer without much luck. THR reports she was asking in the realm of Sarah Palin's Alaska's $1 million-per-episode fee--just way too much to pay for a sport no one cares about. The Palins tried to get interest from TLC and A&E, but the networks made a stink face at the price and moved on. 

When Scarlett Johansson discovered today that private photos she'd taken of herself had been leaked on the Internet by hackers, she surely felt violated and embarrassed. However, she also must have felt somewhat relieved that this gross invasion of privacy coincided with the day that details from Joe McGinniss’ biography of Sarah Palin surfaced in the National Enquirer. If you were wondering what it would take for people to brush aside naked pictures of Scarlett Johansson, the answer is rumors of Sarah Palin having a one-night stand with basketball star Glen Rice and snorting cocaine off a 55-gallon oil drum.

You'd think the shameful performance of the "official" Sarah Palin documentary, The Undefeated, would put an end to the Palin documentary sub-genre. You'd think. But how then, do you explain Sarah Palin – You Betcha!, another moving picture documenting the Palin phenomenon? Let us try. Whereas The Undefeated was made by a Tea Party disciple who had Team Palin's full blessing, You Betcha! takes a more back-channel approach. The first film was made by and for Palin's shrinking group of supporters. This one was made for everyone else.

● J-Lo and Marc Anthony, a couple who we thought might be happily high-maintenance together forever, have split. Divorce, however, can't stop the show - they are still hoping to host their Latin talent search, Q'Viva!, together this fall. [THR] ● Harry Potter sold $476 million in tickets worldwide over the weekend, breaking all sorts of box office records and rendering the rest of the summer's blockbusters as failures. [NYT] ● Meanwhile, Sarah Palin doc The Undefeated opened in Orange County, CA to nary a soul. Well, almost. [The Atlantic]

Hillary Clinton might have entered politics first, but Sarah Palin beat her to a milestone far more important to the American people. With Who's Nailin’ Paylin - Hustler Video’s unauthorized 2008 porno spoof in which Lisa Ann, playing Palin, larks about with Russians and explores the Big Bang Theory - the former Alaska governor and one-time vice presidential candidate became the first prominent female politician to become the title character in a skin flick. But Hillary's not great at losing, so perhaps she'll be secretly pleased that her, uh, doppelgänger, will be starring in an unauthorized porno as well, courtesy of one of the current secretary of state's former interns, Sammie Spades.

● Sarah Palin and Donald Trump met at New York's grimiest pizza parlor, Famiglia, in Times Square, where they picked at their slices with plastic utensils and thought about how awesome a pizza-party themed campaign could be. [NYDN] ● It's hard to see past the fur boots and the hair poof, but if you look carefully, you'll see that Snooki is wearing a post-accident neck brace. [Gawker] ● It seems like a terrible branding move, but Kim Kardashian wants to take her hubby's name, meaning it'll be Mrs. Kim Humphries from now on, thank you very much. [TMZ]

Remember when Sarah Palin, Sean Hannity, and their Fox News comrades got all worked up over the thought of rapper Common attending Michelle Obama’s Poetry Night? Well, Common did make it to the White House last night, he did perform a beautiful poem, and guess what? No former Presidents, police officers, kids, or conservative Republicans were harmed in the process. Imagine that.

Sarah Palin and Fox News have based their latest quarrel with the Obamas on the most absurd of topics—Michelle Obama’s White House “Poetry Night.” The First Lady’s decision to invite rapper Common to the semi-annual event really irritated Sarah Palin and her merry band of conservative followers, who displayed their knack for clever wordplay by calling him a “common thug.” Yesterday Fox News threw out the word “vile,” and last night Sean Hannity chimed in on the blindly narrow-minded debate.

● Feeding fire to the engine, the LAPD had Tyler, the Creator in cuffs yesterday for reasons we can't even begin to imagine. [RapRadar] ● "Oh lovely, White House," Sarah Palin mocked when she heard that the rapper Common ("as in, common thug, I suppose") had been invited to the White House for a poetry reading. Needless to say, Common's never felt tougher. [NBC] ● You're going to have to put in work if you want to be the first to hear Lady Gaga's Born This Way. Virtual work. On FarmVille. Three strawberry trees for that next single? Don't mind if I do! [DailyGaga]

Okay, we admit it - we didn't comb through a makeup artist's online portfolio to discover this photo of Julianne Moore dressed as a major American female political figure. That kind of good fortune happens but once a lifetime. Rather, we obtained this brand-new picture of Julianne Moore in the guise of Sarah Palin by more conventional methods.