● Jennifer Aniston was caught wearing a ring. It's (probably not) happening. [Jezebel] ● Now that people have mostly lost interest his crazy show, Charlie Sheen is edging back towards the less lucrative but more stable sitcom business. He's apparently signed a deal with Lionsgate to star in a new show as a character "very similar to the one he played on Two And a Half Men, however the show will be a lot racier." [Radar] ● If all goes according to plan, Beyoncé will be joined by Leonardo DiCaprio in Clint Eastwood's upcoming A Star Is Born remake. Two true stars, indeed. [DeadLine]

● Pink and Carey Hart welcomed baby Willow Sage Hart into the world yesterday. Baby Willow is "gorgeous just like her daddy," Pink tweeted. [NYP] ● Ah, okay: Megan Fox was too feminist to work with Michael Bay on his latest Transformers movie. Or, as Shia LaBeouf put it, "Megan developed this Spice Girl strength, this woman-empowerment [stuff] that made her feel awkward about her involvement with Michael, who some people think is a very lascivious filmmaker, the way he films women." [Hero Complex/LAT] ● Arnold Schwarzenegger, who was willing enough to indulge certain other needs, just can't quit that wedding ring. He was spotted out in LA with his daughter, ring still on cheatin' finger. [UsWeekly]

Even though Kid Cudi publicly announced that he'd given up smoking weed two months ago, the rapper had already recorded the track ‘Marijuana’ for his sophomore album, Man On The Moon II, so why not just film a video for it? Since 2009, Cudder has been on a mission to collaborate with Shia LeBeouf —“He's killing shit, I feel like I'm doing the Shia Labeouf in music”—and now we finally have the end product.

● Fresh off his latest stint in rehab, Charlie Sheen was apprehended high, drunk and naked -- with a prostitute in his closet -- at New York's Plaza Hotel while his children and ex-wife Denise Richards slept in a nearby room. [NYP] ● Carey Mulligan and Shia LaBeouf have confirmed their relationship is long over and that they can now enter the phase where one makes the other jealous by dating someone way more famous. [People] ● Ozzy Osbourne is qualified to be Rolling Stone's new health columnist because he is not yet dead. [Page Six]

Today is the day that Shia LaBeouf finally revealed the sinister reaches of his influence. This morning, footage surfaced of LaBeouf enjoying a break from filming Transformers 3 in Washington D.C., taking in the autumn weather by reading a book outdoors. Next to him, a cup of coffee. In front of him, a heavy-set paparazzo snapping pictures. Deciding he's had enough (and perhaps not realizing a video camera was trained on him) he gets up, runs after the photographer, launches the coffee at his back, and goes on running as if a Decepticon were hot on his trail. The whole thing is so absurd it almost looks like a viral Starbucks ad. Video of the incident quickly spread across the web until this afternoon, when something strange happened.

Google, the clumsy little family run company who's unofficial motto is "Don't get caught being evil," says it's been accidentally spying on you by accidentally cruising around the streets in high tech data gathering trucks on the prowl for open WiFi networks. Luckily for all involved, it was just an accident - that happens to coincide with their core business model of legally spying on people. Phew! In honor of Sergey Brin, let's look at some other crazy accidents in the news this week.

● Sarah Jessica Parker insists, "You don't want to see me topless." Let's just listen to the woman. [HuffPo] ● Shia LaBeouf won't stop talking trash about the movies that made him a star, including Transformers and the latest Indiana Jones. Next, he'll be describing Megan Fox without makeup. [Page Six] ● Justin Bieber is nominated for a BET Award. That is, a Black Entertainment Award. [People]

Tomorrow, most man-centric mags will declare a ban on Megan Fox in a limp attempt to curb attention to the starlet. Although coverage of the ban itself is having the exact opposite effect, with some sources summarily providing a rundown of Fox's movie credits and photo-ops. Surprisingly enough, Fox has never appeared too annoying -- if anything, she's always been good for a quotable quip or two. So if you'd like to say "Eff you, man mags!" and take time out to show your pride for Megan Fox, here are a few places (based mostly around L.A.) through where the starlet's wined and dined, leaving a scrap of herself as a footnote to every credit card signature.

● Tom and Katie stopped by Hollywood Boulevard to support friend Cameron Diaz as she got her star on the Walk of Fame. [JustJared] ● Although Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green may or may not be together anymore, Fox doesn’t worry about having Brain’s name tattooed somewhere on her anatomy, ‘cause it would be so easy to laser off these days. [NationalLedger] ● E! has taken the advice of their viewers and have banned Heidi and Spencer Pratt from their channel -- no coverage, no air time, nada. [E!]

● Despite what you may think, Winona Ryder harbors no ill will towards Angelina Jolie for stealing the spotlight in Girl, Interrupted. If you remember, Jolie went on to win an Academy Award, while Ryder was put on trial for stealing from Saks. [Wonderwall] ● You can find anything on eBay these days including the roughed-up, borrowed Maserati Lindsay Lohan drove for a few months; starting bid is $25K. [TMZ] ● In a new book, a former roadie for Jimi Hendrix claims the legendary guitarist's manager murdered the singer to collect his insurance policy. [TheIndependent]