In one of the bigger “No duh” moments this year, Skechers has announced that Kim Kardashian will be the next face of the brand's well-known Shape-ups line of fitness footwear. Kim’s mom, Kris Jenner, has also been tapped to collaborate on the fully integrated campaign, which will include print, online, television advertisements, and a “Shaping Up With The Kardashians” challenge to be aired on their popular reality TV show.

When I'm out and see some pre-teen ghosting by, gliding but barely moving their legs, my brain seizes up. What the eff was that, I think, cursing my youthful fascination with synthesized mescaline. Then I realize it's those stupid sneakers with wheels. Once, three kids swarmed around me in a Connecticut shopping mall, laughing and circling, and I nearly lost my mind. Feeling guilty and wanting to repent for past indiscretions, I temporarily vowed to forever vote Republican. But that passed. Anyway, prepare to see more of the ghosting pre-teens, as surf-and-skate rat footwear brand Skechers has made a $143 million bid to buy Heelys Inc., the maker of those wheely kicks. If accepted, expect the roving wheeled menace to increase tenfold. You have been warned.