Steven Spielberg, Terrence Malick and Marin Scorsese all made lauded films in 2011, but their Oscar buzz has been stolen by a brave performer that delivered the year’s most tear-jerking sink defecation moment. Unless something goes terribly wrong -- always a possibility when it comes to the Oscars -- Melissa McCarthy is a lock to earn a Best Supporting Actress nod for her work in Bridesmaids, and Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo also have a reasonable shot at Best Original Screenplay. To which we say “great, and go ahead and give Wiig a Best Actress nomination while you’re at it, Academy.” Both actresses did commanding work that gave Bridesmaids a solid, emotional core to stack hilarious profane jokes on, and helped turn the movie from a fun summer comedy into a cultural phenomenon.

Steve Martin has hosted the Oscars twice, making him something of an awards show professional - actually, they paid him both times, which makes him a literal professional - and that’s why he's also in the best position possible to give this year’s host, Eddie Murphy, some advice. On his website, Martin posted an open letter to Murphy, offering his Bowfinger costar some insight and tips for the gig.

Steve Martin's a very rich man and a longtime art collector, so his spending $850,000 on a painting shouldn't be too big of a deal. However, spending $850,000 on a forged painting is a big deal, especially when it turns out you're a victim of the largest art-forgery scheme in German history. A painting Martin bought in 2004, ostensibly by the artist Heinrich Campendonk, turns out to have been a fake. Martin auctioned it at a 200,000-euro loss (it cost about 700,000 euros, so all in all, he sunk about a million dollars into the thing). Wild and crazy guy, indeed.

November 1: Thai pad: W Retreat Koh Samui opens in Southeast Asia. November 2: Christmas comes early when Elf stuffs his stockings on Broadway. Will Ferrell show up? November 4: One lucky artist shakes the “starving” prefix when $100,000 Hugo Boss Prize 2010 is awarded tonight at the Guggenheim.

Over the past few years, plenty of media pundits have alleged that the Oscar broadcast is in need of some re-jiggering. The standard criticism is that the show skews old, is too out-of-touch, too un-hip for today’s kids (a.k.a. the most vital demographic out there). So when this year’s co-producers Adam Shankman and Bill Mechanic were casting about for their new host, they knew they wanted fresh blood, and were unanimous in thinking Sacha Baron Cohen the perfect candidate. (Something different, no?) Except the academy predictably said nix, thinking the man behind Borat and Bruno “too much of a wild card.” Still worse, now it looks as if he won’t even be allowed to present.

● Jeremy Piven says his "moobs" (man boobs) came from soy milk abuse; the actor started out as the “guy that dabbled in soy milk” but it quickly escalated into drinking 12 cups a day -- which contained enough estrogen to give him boobs. [Us] ● Michael Lohan says Lindsay Lohan is a “beautiful girl” but “she looks 100 years old." [E!] ●What men think about, according to Kate Hudson: “Game scores, masturbation, and food." [Us]