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● Paparazzi were shocked to find that the sunglass-wearing platinum blonde they caught outside the Mercer Hotel on Sunday morning was 66-year-old Debbie Harry and not, in fact, the 25-year-old Lindsay Lohan they thought they were shooting. [PageSix]

Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, he of the Jersey Shore phenomenon, is suing clothing brand Abercrombie & Fitch for $4 million, claiming they used his catchphrases on their t-shirts. This is following a bizarre publicity stunt by the company earlier this year where they claimed they would pay Sorrentino to not wear Abercrombie clothing on his television show. That was all fun and games at the time, but now The Situation looks set on taking the jock-approved clothing company for a bunch of money. Maybe Snookie was right. 

● Abercrombie & Fitch is offering to pay Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino to not wear their merchandise. "We understand that the show is for entertainment purposes, but believe this association is contrary to the aspirational nature of our brand, and may be distressing to many of our fans,” said the company of their proposed "Win-Win Situation." [Speakeasy/WSJ] ● Television shrink Dr. Phil has won the sure-to-be-teary first interview with Casey Anthony's parents. [Washington Post] ● Taylor Momsen has officially quit acting in order to make more time for her music, which is "pretty much all [she wants] to do" anyways. [Elle]

● Watch as Mila Kunis defends Justin Timberlake against mean journalists with her fluent Russian at a press junket in Moscow. [Gawker] ● Jessica Alba's secret to loosing baby weight? Misery. She cuts calories, drinks lots of water, and works out all the time. "So basically I'm starving," she said. "It sucks." [Us] ● No less than seven lawmakers will be present at Taylor Swift's DC concert tonight, holding fundraisers in the luxury boxes and shaking off the past month's stresses while singing along to "Mean." And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life and... [Politico]

● There's a new reality show in the works called H8R, wherein celebrities confront their biggest naysayers. Snooki and Kim Kardashian will be on the first episode, set to air in September. It all sounds therapeutic, almost. [Complex] ● Did Maria Shriver leak details about Arnold's lovechild to TMZ and the LA Times? TMZ (hm) is reporting yes. [TMZ] ● At Lady Gaga's parties, we listen to Lady Gaga. When it's not Lady Gaga's party, we still listen to Lady Gaga. [Page Six]

Remember The Situation's scary dad who made all those threatening YouTube videos about him? Sitch is suing him. I bet family dinners are a real hoot at the Sorrentino house these days.

Jersey Shore star Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino's father, Frank Sorrentino, has released a bizarre and threatening online video to...I'm not sure why? Take down his son? To chide him for not doling out his riches readily enough? Whatever the reason, it's messed up. Here's the first video, in which Sorrentino tells us he's going to remind his son where he came from, and where he says The Situation "created more situations for me in my life than the name he gave himself. You're full of shit, I know you. I put my balls on the line for you 100 fucking times when you couldn't."

● Wheels are rolling on the fourth installment of the American Pie franchise, American Reunion. Jason Biggs, Sean William Scott, and Eugene Levy are all signed on, while the rest of the cast is still determining the price of its dignity. [HR] ● TMZ got hold of The Situation's terribly unfunny (and at times racially charged) jokes that didn't make the Comedy Central Roast Of Donald Trump broadcast. Read only if you must. [TMZ] ● First they sold the surveillance tapes for $35,000, and now they are shopping a book deal? These jewelers are making it hard not to feel bad for Lindsay. TMZ]

● Foxcliffe Hickory Wind, the Scottish Deerhound who won 'Best In Show' at last night's Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show, will only come to "Grand Champion" from now on. [NYT] ● Next time you are on acid and need $20 or a sweatshirt, think about breaking into Moby's house. It worked for the last guy, who after 36 hours of tripping saw Moby's 1920's house on top of a hill and decided he just needed to be there. [TMZ] ● The-Dream says he's "cashing in [his] chips" for his fourth album, due out in June. He's got his eye on Wayne, Jay, Kanye, Drake, and Mary J. Blige, but really, the list of musicians who owe him one goes on. It's gonna be a hot summer. [MTV]

● If Beyonce was really pregnant every time someone in a magazine or online said she was, Jay-Z would reign over the sickest child rap group ever. But maybe this time it's true. [Us Weekly] ● Speaking of Mr. Carter, Rihanna has left her management to join Jay-Z's Roc Nation, because being really, really famous isn't famous enough. [PopEater] ● The Situation's book, a "bible" for his fans, is titled "Here's the Situation: A Guide to Creeping on Chicks, Avoiding Grenades, and Getting in Your GTL on the Jersey Shore." Too long, didn't read. [Star]