● Lindsay Lohan missed her flight and, subsequently, her big Playboy reveal taping with Ellen DeGeneres. [E!]

The New York Times reports this morning that Time magazine will feature a living novelist on its cover for the first time in a decade. The living novelist: Jonathan Franzen (second from left), author of The Corrections, and its forthcoming long-awaited follow-up, Freedom. Undoubtedly, some literary whiners will be angry. (See the comments section on the Times ArtsBeat page or our own recent feature for evidence.) Particularly annoying is the sincere deadpan on Franzen’s glasses-framed mug, as if he’s spent the past twenty odd years not writing novels, but posing in preparation for this inevitable coronation.

One of the more recent trends in American cinema was adapting Japanese horror movies. The Ring, The Grudge, and The Eye, all came from the Land of the Rising Sun. Here’s hoping that Japan’s latest cinematic trend catches on soon. Old People Porn.

The latest phenomenon to take over the silver screen is not a budding actor or actress. It's just bud. According to Time.com, despite the perenially raging war on drugs, marijuana has been lighting up (pun intended) the screen a lot recently, making frequent appearances in movies and TV shows. Having a TV show (Showtime’s "Weeds") take on its namesake seemed to served as a launching point for pot’s acting career, and the progression to movies was only natural. After being featured in films like The 40-Year-Old Virgin and Knocked Up, pot is now taking on starring rolls (homonym also intended) in the upcoming movies Pineapple Express and The Wackness, both opening this summer. Whether or not you are part of the 6% of Americans who actually smoke it, pot can now be experienced by anyone checking out the latest stock of THC-filled comedies. To find out more about Mary Jane’s onscreen appearences, check out the full article at Time.com.

There's no sense in hiding it. We're hurt. Time.com just published their list of the web’s 50 best sites, and while sites like ProFootballTalk and Penny Arcade made the list, our website is nowhere to be find (don’t click that link, you’re already here!) And while we love footballing about pro talk (or something like that) as much as the next unhappily married office manager, has Time not seen our restaurant guides? Or this post? Last week, when Vanity Fair failed to include us on their blogopticon, we conceded. We’re not a blog, after all. But we’re on the web, and this is a site, so deductive reasoning indicates that we are indeed a website. So what’s up Time? Are we not newsy enough? Do we lack a buzzy name, like fark, or ditto, or yahtwitgoog? Next thing you know we’re not going to make their 100 Most Influential People of the Year list. As if.