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I don't want to be the kind of guy who actively makes fun of weddings (I already have four to go to this year in various part of the country, and as much as I love my dear friends I have to say that FOUR IS TOO MANY, and I bet they've all conspired against me). And, look, I love a theme party. But can't we all agree that theme parties and weddings are two separate entities and those things should stay far, far, farrrrrrr away from each other? Because sometimes things get out of hand and suddenly you're in a mermaid wedding dress and someone is combing your hair with a fork and your bridesmaids are dressed as Disney princesses and you're being married by a guy in Mickey Mouse ears, and eventually someone is going to have to remind you that you are, in fact, an adult. 

When I opened this video and started watching it last night, my jaw dropped pretty quickly, probably somewhere around the Martin Luther King, Jr. reference. My boyfriend said, "Now, hold on. Remember that this was the best day of someone's life before you completely trash it." So, yes, congrats to the lovely couple. And I bet this wedding was pretty fun if I was lucky enough to be there! But man, it's kinda crazy that I can't even get married in a lot of places but this kinda thing goes on, huh? OK, sorry, that was uncalled for. That's not constructive dialogue! But, huh, all those bridesmaids? That's like an army. A really pink army. And man, you people have entirely too much money that you don't know what to do with it, huh? Hmm.

According to some conspiracy theorists that are taking the Mayan prophecy so seriously the Mayans are actually all, like, “knock it off, bro” now, the world is in ending in 19 days. Assuming this prediction is, in fact, incorrect, lovers from all over the world will be able to tie the knot in the way they’d always imagined—in a wedding chapel at the new Neonopolis Denny’s in Las Vegas. Knowing this now, we’d imagine more Americans are hoping that perhaps the Mayans are right after all.

Heyyyyy, ladies! I'm sure you all know that not only is your wedding day the most important day of your life, should you not have a wedding then you are a complete failure as a human being (until, of course, you are unable to conceive children) (or, until you are unable to balance a work life and a home life at the same time) (what the hell is wrong with you, do you not want to have it all?). Luckily for you, the DIY Bride is back to help you with this important, momentous occasion that will ultimately be the greatest indicator of your personal success and happiness! This week, the wedding expert shares a checklist for finding the perfect dress.

I think the best part about getting married—other than committing to someone for life, or, you know, a long time—is being the center of attention. Everyone has to look at you! It's true! The RSVP includes three unspoken agreements: you will bring a gift, you will not get too drunk, and you will never take your eyes off of the bride, who has spent so much time shedding for the wedding and telling her Maid of Honor what to do and crying and threatening to murder her mother and/or the wedding planner and/or her husband-to-be. And if a bride is smart, she makes her wedding ALL HER OWN. Which is why any lady who is about to head down the aisle should watch "DIY Bride."

Oh my God I am going to get plastered.

"It wasn’t much different from a deli: rows of people either sitting or standing, waiting for their number to be called so they could place their order and hope they made the right choice."