Knocking 'em dead (and down) at Brooklyn Bowl

Away from the adrenaline of 30 Rock, the 'SNL' star is shy and subdued

● Sofia Vergara has been cast in The Smurfs. Unfortunately she will play a live action character, so Papa Smurf will never get his hot Latina girlfriend. [Hollywood Reporter] ● “Let me start by apologizing to anyone who went to see Battlefield Earth." Long overdue mea culpa from the screenwriter of the worst movie ever. [NYPost] ● In his new memoir Hitch-22 Christopher Hitchens talks, a lot, about all of the gay prep school sex he had as a teen. [Gawker]

The Actor on Barneys, Chomsky and being alone

Yesterday, The Daily What linked to a hypnotic gif of Piet Mondrian's work (a Pongdrian as it were). This got us thinking that there's a number of artists whose work would make for purty, little animated sequences. After the jump, gifing Mark Rotho (a Githko?).

● In awesome potential collaboration news, Quentin Tarantino wants to work with Lady Gaga. And some dogs who dress like her. [Daily Express, Buzzfeed] ● Charlotte Bronte was a babysitter: Famous author’s dayjobs. [Lapham’s Quarterly] ● “I personally only like high-class escorts.” Thus spoke Karl Lagerfeld. [Vice]

● Apparently “let me socialize that” is new Wall Street slang for “let me see what people think.” No wonder these guys lost all our money. [WSJ] ● Hollywood will try to turn Leonard da Vinci into an action hero. [The Playlist] ● The Beatrice is going to become a tapas restaurant. [Gawker] ● Watch Nirvana and the Smashing Pumpkins play Crisco twister. [Daily What] ● If Ruth Reichl and Anthony Bourdain had a twitter account, it would be Ruth Bourdain. [Kottke]

● Marion Cotillard introduces American women to “forehead tittaes,” the secret to French women's allure. [Vulture] ● Hilary Duff following in Lauren Conrad’s glorious footsteps, will write a novel (or pay someone to do it for her). [E!] ● Battlestar Galactica gets turned into the Beastie Boys’ “Sabotage” video. [Buzzfeed] ● Lady Gaga says she’s not having sex and sparks a trend: celibate celebrities. [Daily Beast]

● The Flaming Lips' Wayne Coyne will make a second film, and he wants Justin Timberlake to appear in it. One imagines the results will look something like this. [Billboard] ● There’s a new Tron trailer out, and it looks pretty dope. [EW] ● The University of Texas acquires David Foster Wallace’s archive, which includes his annotated books and dictionary. Words he circled include gravid, abulia and valgus. [Ransom Center] ● Precious' Gabourey Sidibe will appear in the Showtime series The Big C, which stars Laura Linney as a woman with cancer. [E!]

● Meryl Streep wore a dress designed by Project Runway’s Chris March to the Oscars. It did not involve a huge trannie wig. [Tom and Lorenzo] ● Jimmy Kimmel convenes a meeting of the Handsome Men’s Club, whose members include Patrick Dempsey, Rob Lowe, Matthew McConaughey, Sting John Krasinski, Ben Affleck and more.[Youtube] ● Sofia Coppola may make a movie based on Phoenix’s “Love Like a Sunset.” (Her baby daddy is the band’s lead singer). In other Phoenix news, the kids in Staten Island’s PS 22 choir follow up their cover of “Poker Face” with a rendition of “Lisztomania.” [Playlist, Hipster Runoff]