Oh no! The first reviews of Richard Kelly's make-it-or-break it career saver The Box are finally online, and it's not looking good for the Donnie Darko director. In a piece in last Sunday's New York Times, Kelly made it clear that after the colossal misfire that was Southland Tales that The Box's fate would be his fate, too. It's still relatively early in the game, but if the first reviews tell you anything, it's that Mr. Kelly should begin checking Craigslist wanted ads.

Variety lauds the director for returning "to his Donnie Darko roots by depicting an all-American family succumbing to paranormal forces," but then goes on to make it sound like a companion piece to Southland Tales, writing that Kelly "widens his scope to cover far too many happenings, conspiracies and cultural artifacts, while his characters fail to be compelling as they get knocked around by the unknown." They do however, consider the movie's star power -- "Cameron Diaz should carry the cult helmer into more commercial playpens" -- so Kelly might be able to keep his Hollywood bachelor pad a little while longer. FILMINK calls it "an improvement on Southland Tales," which is like saying 9/11 was an improvement on the Holocaust. Also, this: "As the running time drags on, there is simply no getting away from the fact that the fundamentally ludicrous premise cannot take flight due to uneven pacing and a dearth of resonant scares." The Age gives a very disappointing criticism by attacking the movie's big reveal (which, in a psycho-thriller like this, needs to really pop). They call it "frankly, boring." The Courier Mail, another pub out of Australia -- who seems to have been shown the movie before the US -- discourages by highlighting the "lack of chemistry" between the two leads, Diaz and James Marsden. Writing that the script "becomes sillier the longer the story goes on" doesn't help either.

Granted, there are some good reviews out there also, and even the bad ones praise Kelly's visuals and his knack for creating a general atmosphere of creepiness -- but still, Southland Tales was so bad, that this needed to be so good. Better luck next time Mr. Kelly, if there is a next time.