The teaser poster for the next Twilight film exists. I think the next movie is called either Eclipse or E-Clips: A Documentary About Digital Hair Ties. We're all about the shinier thing, and now that New Moon's been exposed as kind of middling, if hugely profitable, we need to hang our expectations on its follow-up. The poster's very telling. It implies wickedness and melodrama. There's a dramatic red thing, even! This implies an adept use of Photoshop's Lens Flare effect or blood. Or the former to convey the latter. A more detailed analysis after the jump.

The black clouds signify broodiness. Perhaps this being the third installment, where Bella must choose between chicken and beef in the veritable Chinese restaurant that is Twilight, there a love triangle with edges so sharp that one can't help but hemorrhage in store for us. This brings us back to the blood. There will be lots of blood. R-Patz has promised us that. Perhaps this will be to the franchise what The Half-Blood Prince was to Harry Potter. A dark exploration of the turmoil that teenagers on the verge of adulthood face. Like pimples and body image issues. Yes, come July 2010, Eclipse will leave all of us bowing in its shadow, questioning the life choices we've made. Because that's the Twilight effect.