I say "maybe-boyfriend" not because I'm a soulless, heartless blogger frothing at the mouth for more click-throughs -- well, fine, that's a big part of it -- but also because it's not every co-star that cautiously looks after his colleague with such scrutiny. Which is why the cockles of RPatz's heart should be warmed that Michael Welch -- who plays Mike Newton in the Twilight saga -- has taken his concerns for his beloved to the streets: "I don't see how this is sustainable -- is this gonna keep going for the rest of his life?" He continues, "I understand it, it's Edward Cullen, I get it. But he's still Rob Pattinson first -- he's still his own guy. Is it time to start getting concerned here? It's tough, man. I don't know where his life is really headed." But Welch's concern does tend to approach absurdity, where even says, "If he's in a room and he looks down and he looks back up, [in that instant] everyone in the room will be staring at him. It's kind of ridiculous. [That level of fame] is literally Rob Pattinson and Barack Obama."

To get a clearer understanding into the tenuous psyche of part-time vampires, I consulted a devoted Robert Pattinson follower of my own (they're in abundance!) She constructed a four-tiered argument proving why Welch may as well be full of garlic paste with his contrived concern:

A. To compare RPatz to Barack is ludicrous. He's a teen idol and we all know what happens to teen idols eventually. B. You wouldn't trade places? LIAR. C. The Mike Newton character is like the nerdiest in the whole series. D. And in the movie, too, I might add.

But Welch begged to differ. He sighed a little and wistfully said, "I don't wish I had Rob's life at all. I'm glad he's okay. And as long as people don't start ripping at him and breaking him in two, I think we'll be okay ... I wish him the best, and hope he's going to be all right." He will, darling. He will.