Taylor Lautner is jacked. This is very difficult to miss, given that his biceps, deltoids, triceps are the size of small planets and have been photographed with far more regularity of late than non-planet Pluto. Lautner’s freakishly well-developed musculature is displayed on the new cover of Rolling Stone, which showcases the Twilight star posing in a wet t-shirt with a football and guns so large and meaty they look like they could feed all of America Thanksgiving dinner. Also on display, granted through the haze of a wet white t-shirt, is a nipple. After the jump a gallery of Rolling Stone’s other most nippletastic, and almost nippletastic, covers.

First, the dudes.

image Famous image in which Jim Carrey's bum outshines his nip.

image Isn't it weird how this picture of Robin Williams does NOT make you want to gauge out your eyes?

image David Cassidy has tiny little tic tacs.

image This was Justin on the cusp of not being the guy from N'Sync and there's something weird happening around the eyes, in his groin veins.

image Red Hot Chilli Peppers prefer to be naked.

image Pete Wentz's are grody, just like everything else about him.

image Ashton Kutcher's nipple seems a smidge erect.

image Blink-182 was a really big band once. They had so many tattoos their nipples were often obscured.

image Blind Melon, RIP. Too soon for jokes.

image This is Axl Rose pre-botox, if that helps explain anything.

image Proof Gavin Rossdale was once someone other than Gwen Stefani's husband.

image Johnny Depp, almost a twofer.

image Ok, you can't quite see anything here except Zac Efron's belly button, which is its own kind of titillating. But, clearly, this inspired the Lautner shoot.

image This shot of Adam Lambert comes close, but no nip. Isn't it weird that "gay" means chest hair, and "straight" (see previous) means smoother than a baby's bum?

image Nipple peeking out of middle Jonas Bro's shirt. Count it.

image Not quite, but this image of John Lennon is ur-almost nip.

Now the ladies, who just tease.

image This is pretty awesome, still.

image Seems like Britney did dozens of these shots, but this is the one that exposes the most.

image Rose McGowan and Rosario Dawson go topless for no good reason. They probably shouldn't have agreed to this.

image Linda Ronstadt almost nipple malfunctions.

image Don't you kind of miss drrrrty Xtina?

image So this happened, which is weird.

image Gaga plays with bubbles, pays homage to someone.

image No nipple, but, uhm, CRACK.