It's no sorry secret that the lion's share of people who tune in to the Oscars don't care who takes home the elusive "Best Lighting in a Scene Where Two People Are Crying in the Dark" award, but instead to witness the fashion and the best excuses for a +1 that the stars could muster up. But all of that could go away if the Academy, in one of their dimmer moments, have things their way. Not that it ever occurred to them to find novel ways to trim the awards broadcast down so that we're not all comatose by the time Best Picture is announced, but their thinking is that if they roll back the red carpet, more people will watch (or not turn off half-way) the telecast.

Or at the least, be less willing to get their awards coverage from outside news media. But hey, Academy, if this isn't really an attempt to reinforce your tenterhooks onto an awards telecast whose success belongs only to you, but rather, a way to exclude Ryan Seacrest, surely you have a less confusing way of achieving that goal. Especially one that won't strip Joan Rivers of a day job.