It's that time of the day again, wherein we phone world leaders and ask them politely if they could please hold off on all matters of reviving the globe from its death-spiral for a day because there are more important matters at hand. Like feeding the most contemporary iteration of Beyogaga. A beautiful, benevolent beast, Beyogaga is something of a contemporary pop unicorn or sphinx. It's elusive, but a rare visual treat when it comes into view. Make too much noise and the easily startled Beyogaga will scamper off. The gorgeous Beyoncé-Lady Gaga crossbreed's first music video was made available last night. And it was to the tune of an extended remix of "Video Phone" which is going to be on the millionth reissue of B's I Am ... album. It may also be tacked on Gaga's The Fame: Monster reissue as well. At the end of the day, the five-minute long affair is an excellent diatribe about violence and the lack of intimacy in 21st-century romances. A full explanation of the performance art piece follows.

Because there is a troop of well-dressed men following behind her, Beyoncé can officially be declared as having "returned" despite never truly being away.

Here is a creepy video camera-headed man. He is one of two such men who go on to ogle B.

And there is the other such man. Note all the shameless ogling.

Beyoncé finally has had enough. She assumes a stance that implies, "Back off, bitch." The men back off.

She is, however, not the type to take to such objectification lightly. Natural reaction: firearms!

Oh, hello Lady Gaga! So nice to see you!

Here, Beyoncé provides us with mixed signals. She is at once like Bettie Page and Sarah Palin.

She is also a fan of Japan. Oh, all this color, by the way, is a subtle way of letting us know that this video serves as the "finale" for this otherwise endless album campaign.

But what happens if men are relentless? If their needling ogles persist? The apocalypse! As demonstrated below.

It's all bit abstract without any context. So to that end, the full video: