Basically any civilized nation that doesn't hold I Am Sasha Fierce in the same gilded regard as they do the King James Bible is clearly committing heresy. But this lets Malaysia off the hook, as it's regularly touted as one of the world's largest Islamic populations. Nevertheless, people with ears the world over should find it disturbing that the Malaysian government has more or less banned Beyoncé from performing in their lush island kingdom, claiming that Bey's hip-swiveling performances would promote "Western sexy performances." Although the punishment for being "Western" and having a "sexy performance" isn't terribly strict, considering the nearly $3,000 wrist-slap administered to the Pussycat Dolls' management after one of the Dolls accidentally spilled out of her top. But this raises more pressing questions. Questions that should make us question mankind. Questions that should make the Earth spin off its axis. Questions like, "If they're not listening to Beyoncé ... then what are Malaysians listening to?"

Naturally, they're still listening to Beyoncé, but just not straight from the source. The truth isn't pretty. But that's because few people in Southeast Asia ever properly rip videos off the TV at high quality and onto YouTube. One of Malaysia's own has had no problem belting out a classic or "Halo". As evidenced, adherence to a performance that is markedly not "Western sexy" in its sensibilities trumps all ability to sing. Here, she's joined by two other divas, all tipping their proverbial hats to Dreamgirls, which has more or less been appropriated into Bey's oeuvre.

The curious thing about the exchange of divas in that insular part of the world is that as averse as they may be to "Western sexy performances," the bevy of culture ministers have no problem with domestic prima donnas belting out these "Western" songs, so long as the "sexy performance" is hardly so. Which is why the Philippines' homegrown answer to Beyoncé would still have more luck singing "If I Were A Boy" and "Irreplaceable" in Malaysia than Beyoncé herself. Here she performs a noticeably less "sexy" version of "Single Ladies."

Probably the saddest truth is this: Even less charismatic obscure singing sensations have a better shot at singing Beyoncé's songs without government interference than Beyoncé does, so long as they remain decidedly un-"Western."