So remember Mariah Carey's "Obsessed" -- that searing polemic about sociopaths? Good. Now forget it. Undergo extensive radiation therapy in order to wipe it from your brain if you must, but the bottom line is that Carey already has. Maybe it has to do with the single's embarrassing chart tenure -- the one where it failed to scratch at the Top 10. Or maybe it has to do with the fact that it's some of the worst musical floss strung together since that time Carey e-mailed some vocals to a Irish boyband and the best everyone could slap together using Quicktime's copy-and-paste function was this horrible Phil Collins cover. But the magic of karaoke is what she's counting on to see her through this gloomy era, one plagued by continual setbacks.

The actual first single from her awfully-titled next album will be a cover of Foreigner's "I Want to Know What Love Is". This obviously wouldn't be the first time Carey attempted to turn a profit on nostalgia; past attempts were both genuine and sanctimonious.

Additionally, having been shafted so many times by the Grammys (although hopefully she wasn't expecting one for something like this last time around), she's decided to release Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel a day too late for the Grammy gods to consider it. Genius! If she makes it impossible for people who weren't going to consider her album anyway in a competition that no longer foretells the future of music, she might just get her point across! Furthermore, by pushing the album's release date back, she also avoids battle with Whitney Houston, who's looking rather sparkly these days.