A banner week indeed for diva drama -- these ladies are in constant flux between mental stability and the precipice of hot-messery. To recap:

● Sans a frappuccino or a freakout, Britney Spears vaulted 95 spots to #1 with "Womanizer." ● Madonna and Guy Ritchie are splitting up. And she's not letting him off that easy, having enlisted the ball-busting legal talents of Fiona Shackleton, the same broad who represented Prince Charles and Paul McCartney in their divorces. There's also some talk of Madonna high-tailing it to Malawi with A-Rod, posthaste.

● Beyoncé sucks at viral marketing but loves her kid sister Solange very much ... so long as nobody admits that "Sandcastle Disco" actually sounds better than "Single Ladies." ● The Minogue Sisters have adapted an ABBA standard that may be offensive to those with good taste in pop, but also manages to be campier than the original. The song is part of the soundtrack of some UK comedy out next week. ● Nick Cannon squirmed as he directed Mariah Carey's latest music video, for "I Stay In Love." Not (only) because the song wasn't particularly good, but because it was painful for him to watch Mariah get in bed with a guy who wasn't him. Ironic considering the pair met under similar circumstances for the filming of her last music video. ● And lastly, there is always drama to be had with John McCain.