Welp, The New York Times has caught on to Lana Del Rey (ON IT!), and we’ve all been treated to an incredibly insipid profile of the scarlet starlet/harlot in T magazine. It’s full of incredibly fascinating and concrete facts, like her possession of a Tennessee Williams paperback and her "neither rich nor poor" upbringing. Journalism at its finest!
Author Jacob Brown doesn’t pull any punches here and manages to include a pretty offensive remark right out of the gate! "Without straying too far off the pop grid, she’s the perfect antidote to Rihanna-Gaga overload — dare we say, a skinnier Adele, a more stable Amy Winehouse?" What does a skinny Adele sound like, Mr. Brown? Well, he never gets around to pointing that out, exactly. This is, after all, the Women’s Fashion issue, so it’s definitely more important to avoid what has made Lana Del Rey actually famous (you know, singing, which is her job) and instead compare her to talented and better-selling female artists who weigh more than her.
Meanwhile, he sure does think she is pretty! So does some anonymous dude in a pizza parlour:
We head to a 10th Avenue Italian restaurant that her publicist has chosen. It feels tacky. “Do you want to just get a coffee across the street, and sit on a stoop? It’s not too cold?” she asks. I agree, though it is in fact too cold.
At the pizza place she orders a large coffee with no sugar, lots of milk. The server spots the old Tennessee Williams paperback in her purse, which sparks a conversation about 1950s movies and Elizabeth Taylor as Cleopatra.
Then he asks, “Are you two a couple?” and looks at me and says: “Today is your lucky day. I wish I was lucky like you.”
The presumption doesn’t stop him from flirting with Del Rey. “Big cup for you,” he says, handing her her coffee. “Just a little kiss for me.”
Del Rey laughs and hits him right back with: “Sure. Just a little kiss. Where do you want it?”
Gimme a break!
We’re as sick as everyone else is of arguing about Lana Del Rey. Wherever you stand, we hope you can at least acknowledge that even the congratulatory defenses of the singer are seeped in sexism. With the narrative now shifting to Lana Del Rey being bullied by "bloggers," it seems we’ve all forgotten that she’s a mediocre songwriter who has released a single album, isn’t particularly talented as a singer or a performer, and is already on her way to a modeling career that seems better suited to her false identity.