● Sean Penn: Serious actor, serious director, serious activist, serious Wyclef Jean skeptic, and now, serious babe. [D Listed] ● Someone wielding two large knives tried breaking into Paris Hilton's home before she called the police. She really doesn't recognize her own gardener? [TMZ] ● Joanna Newsom says she'll be touring the U.S. this November, traveling from city to city with nothing but a wand, a dash fairy dust, and good cheer. [Pitchfork]

● Thank the Lord Jenna Jameson has thrown her weight into the great sex tape debate, because arguing over mosques and religious tolerance is so not sexy. [Jenna Jameson/Twitter] ● Apparently Rachel Uchitel would "give up everything" to have the newly-divorced Tiger Woods back, and for someone who has nothing, everything is a whole lot. [TMZ] ● Thanks to the miracle of DNA testing, scientists are more certain than ever that Hitler had both Jewish and African blood. He's the new Amar'e Stoudemire! [Telegraph UK]