Because today we're celebrating the ubiquity of untalenteds, let's focus on recent Heidi Montag detractor/ex-Danity Kane huckster Aubrey O'Day, who took issue with the uncelebrity's half-assed Playboy spread. First, the shiny compliment: "I think Heidi is a beautiful girl and it's an honor to be a part of an iconic lineup of women," O'Day said. "I'm happy that she took the opportunity. She looked beautiful." Then, the ugly truth: "I think mine's still the winner. I think that my Playboy photos express very strongly my nature as a woman. They were classy, they depicted the parts of my body that I love, and I felt completely beautiful and secure and empowered by them."

But she has choice words for Montag if she follows through with her promise of a Playboy redux: "So whatever her journey is, I'd say ... to just take that risk, really do something kind of ... maybe do something she's a little scared to do, so she overcomes a fear and feels really proud. You know, you can take a million pretty pictures, every celebrity girl has taken a million pretty pictures, but it's like: Which pictures are really going to stand out and be iconic."

O'Day was a little more forgiving, however, when she was probed on her feelings about Cuban dictator Fidel Castro -- as one-time girlband mouthpieces always have pivotal opinions on such topics. "I met him and worked with him when I was in Cuba," O'Day said. "I'm not defending his behavior in many instances, but I do have to say that I will 100 percent agree he's an incredibly brilliant man."

But in what must've been a spectacle of inanity, Sean Hannity gently reminded O'Day that Castro was a murderer, and after a hair-flip, O'Day responded, "I'm sure I've met a lot of murderers in life. I'm not condoning [his actions]. [The United States has] supported a lot of murderers. I'm specifically addressing [Watson's] comment suggesting that he is a brilliant man. I'm sure many murderers are brilliant people." This, in turn, led people to believe that O'Day -- on whose diminutive shoulders America's Future apparently rests -- would also celebrate Adolf Hitler. To which she snapped, "Listen, I don't condone Hitler one ounce, but yes, he was a brilliant man. Can you guys say that he wasn't? He ran a country and convinced everyone of horrible things."