Onetime reality TV star Tila Tequila is not just everything that's wrong with people in the world. She's also everything that's wrong with technology. With the creation of MySpace and YouTube came a slew of artists with a universal platform to showcase their talents. It was an unprecedented democratization of the arts, and, as if overnight, Lily Allen and Kate Nash became MySpace-born pop darlings, while millions of viewers clicked to watch Marie Digby perform her basement cover songs. But the flip-side -- which has been lamented at length by those who vilify celebrity for celebrity's sake -- has been ugly and embarrassing (here's looking at you, Chris Crocker and Tucker Max), and it's given birth to the apotheosis of cyber-depravity: the self-baptized Tila Tequila.

I've been following Tila Tequila's Twitter account since news surfaced of her "wifey" Casey Johnson's tragic death. Her tireless rants -- literally, she's updated her account 66 times, almost every hour, over the past 12 hours, spanning from 8PM PST until 6AM PST -- are proof of a woman desperate for comfort, support, friendship and attention that only exists online. Tila's effusive ramblings vacillate between manic ("I am about to write a blog about the REALLY GOOD NEWS I've been wanting to share with you all....stay tuned! Posting Today! YAYYYY! ooxx") to despairing ("Everyone send me ur positive energy please. I keep fainting every couple minutes when I stand up. Please pray for my health. I need it. Thx.") This is a woman on the verge, begging for her "fans," anonymous visitors to her site, to save her from the precipice of irrelevance. Unique visitors and commenter tirades are her life source. She is the personification of the Hollywood adage about preferring negative attention to no attention at all. And since her existence in the world is purely fictitious -- she is not a real woman, but a self-made cyber-monster -- when she doesn't condescend to social network, one wonders if she might be dead. Dramatic, perhaps, but also not: when someone's entire being rests on the laurels of a loquacious Tweet, when their every move, every scandal, and every tragedy becomes proof of the person writing them, then silence signals death. Rants are tangible and, without them, Tila Tequila becomes nothing more than a lonely, talentless, morally amibigious young woman named Tila Nguyen.

Tila recently wrote that she had no family or friends to speak of, which seems believable. And while flirting with her Twitter followers, the busted Lolita writes, "EVERYONE IS TELLING ME TO GO TO BED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL....OK MOM AND DAD!!!! I WILL GO TO BED NOW! PLS DONT GROUND ME!!!! LOL BYE BYE! xox." The delusion that these people, her surrogate family, care about her well-being and lack of sleep is absurd, of course, but not to Tila. She seems to have actually convinced herself that she is more than a fame-hungry shadow of a person, for whom life isn't but a series of publicity stunts.

And, of course, there's this, an excerpt for the obituary Tila wrote for Casey on her website, Tila's Hotspot:

I have decided that all of the negative drama surrounding my late Fiancee has taken a major toll on my health and my Baby. I have decided to stop trying to defend her and let go of all the anger and resentment I have towards the people who keep bashing my deceased Wife. From now on, I will only want the world to remember her beauty, and our love. I have decided that GOD will take care of those who are bashing the deceased. On top of that, my late Fiancee, Casey, is also in Heaven now, right next to GOD, so she will also be watching over me and taking care of those MEAN BULLIES! She told me I don't have to defend her anymore. She will take care of the means ones. She just wants me to be happy and move on with my life and continue to focus on all of the projects I have. She was oh so PROUD of me when I told her about my new ventures! So I will grant her last wishes.

Well, that makes sense. Certainly Casey's last wishes -- not to make amends with her family, or find peace with herself -- were for Tila's career to flourish.

And so should put an end to Johnson's make-believe relationship to a make-believe woman with a make-believe career and make-believe emotions.

But, then, again... UPDATE: Tila Tequila Records is looking to sign new talent. Crazy, right, guys? "You will become a major superstar faster than you can say 'superstar.'" Right, guys? Guys? I'm typing to you!! Is anyone there? Hey, I hate that slut Nicky Hilton and big fat piggy Perez Hilton and stupid old Larry King! Look at me! My wifey's dead! I have a baby? Hehehe. I'm losing weight? I can't sleep? Anyone?