Did you know that two groups of large, boat-sized individuals squared off in some sort of contest that involves an oblong leather ball last night ? And that during halftime, The Boss managed to scandalize America far worse than Janet Jackson did, but the FCC was none the wiser? And also that the Arizona Cardinals lost? I only tangentially knew. But in all honestly, I didn't bother with the details until Lindsay Lohan managed to emerge from the ether of the slow news weekend to find a way to make the Super Bowl all about her. The real tragedy didn't ensue in the Cardinals' locker rooms post-game, but rather, a couple days earlier at a sketchy pre-party in Tampa, and again the next day, on an airplane.

At ESPN The Magazine's official pre-Super Bowl party (was there a more happening place to be! What's that? Right, this and this!), Samantha Ronson had been busy spinning the hits. This task also involved her shooing away Lohan, who nursed her furor with Red Bulls. Eventually Lohan pitched a chick-fit and performed selected scenes from The L Word, most probably assuming the role of Jenny Shecter. Ronson whisked her beau off to the bathroom to talk some sense into her, but instead got provoked into a chick-fit of her own. However, ultimately the two were all smiles after all the hair-pulling and right hooks. Who wasn't all smiles, you ask? That would be Christian Slater, who earlier earned nothing more than a half-hearted hello from Lohan in passing.

Add to those histrionics this: on an outbound, overbooked flight from Tampa the next day, the couple was denied access to first class. And having been denied so, Lohan pitched yet another chick-fit, proclaiming that she'd die if she were confined to the coop they call coach. She even shrieked, "You'd better come and visit me back there in case I die." But ultimately, flight attendants didn't have to; they caved into her demands for an upgrade. But despite Lohan's proclivity towards hot-messery, Wilmer Valderrama a source confides that their love, much like The L Word itself, will go on: "Samantha won't let Lindsay go [as] she doesn't have a career without her."
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