Last week the most famous tattoo canvas in the land-- David Beckham’s skin-- got another addition. It was Beck’s longtime tattoo artist, Louis Malloy, who has been working with the soccer player since his days playing for Manchester United, who drew the newest addition-- a bummed out Jesus on Beck’s rib cage. Mr Malloy, who’s been inking customers for the last 24 years, spoke with BlackBook about his star client, swastika tattoos and customers who can’t tell the difference between Fidel and Che, and don’t much care.

Are you always honored to get the call from David Beckham? Of course, especially as he's too far away for me to be going out every weekend to tattoo him. I'm very honored to tattoo one of the most high-profile celebrities in the world. I didn't do his very first tattoo so I was very honored when he changed to me. I never heard Victoria's call him her little tattooed lover boy though.

Does David ever invite you to watch him play football or give you gifts? I've never asked him. I don't ask him for anything. But whenever I go and see him, to either plan the next tattoo or actually do one I get two things off him. One is I get him to sign the artwork that I've done for the tattoo. Some of them I've framed and some I've given to close friends on the condition that they can't sell them on. The second thing I ask is if friends have young kids, I'll ask David to sign football shirts for them. These kids now all call me 'Uncle Louis,' because I get them all of this Beckham memorabilia.

What if he came to you and said Brooklyn wanted an LA Galaxy tattoo? Well, he wouldn't, as the law in the UK is 18 years of age to get your first tattoo. I think that's a good age.

What would you consider the most offensive tattoo you've completed? One customer wanted a Buddhist swastika that turns counter-clockwise and is a symbol of the sun as opposed to the version adopted by Hitler and the Third Reich. So I told the guy, 'You do know a lot of people are going to think you are a Nazi and you're going to get a kicking.' But he still wanted to have it done. Another brought in a design of an eagle across his back with a Nazi swastika on it. I implored him not to do it but he said, "I want to go ahead because I'm a collector of Nazi memorabilia." I took that to mean he was also a right wing loony and a racist. He'd obviously thought out his reason. It took about three hours and there were a few awkward moments. My grandfather is black and it's quite amusing for me to say this to that kind of client, just to see them hop in the chair. That way I'm having the last laugh on them.

Is it breaking the law to tattoo a KKK logo on someone's arm? There's absolutely no law stopping me from tattooing absolutely anything I want onto someone's skin. Personally, I would rather someone doesn't have that kind of tattoo and I would advise them strongly of the downsides to such a permanent body marking. But then if they still wanted to do it I'd go ahead with the tattoo because it would make them more easily identifiable as a racist. It would create a moral paradox if I turned down any request.

Do you feel duty bound to point out the negatives to getting a tattoo then? I almost ridicule people who sit in front of me with their partners, wanting a tattoo of that person's name. I'll actually say to the potential recipient whilst the girlfriend or boyfriend or whoever is looking on, "Do you really want that doing? Do you really think it's a good idea?" Even if they’re married I'll say to them, ‘The odds are still stacked against your marriage surviving longer than this tattoo.’ And then if one partner is encouraging the other to still have it done I say, 'Ok, then why don't we do one on you as well, now that you're here!" Let's just say that 95 percent of the time people will at least listen to my advice. Which is good! I'm glad about that in this job. Fortunately for me, I have a six month waiting list, it's a great cooling off period for people.

These things are forever. Absolutely. And once you've allowed people to make an informed decision, I've absolved myself of any responsibility. Some tattooists will make you sign a sort of release form, but there's no legal necessity to provide such a thing. People make wrong decisions all the time on matters of marriage or having children, but that's life.

What’s the most ridiculous tattoo you've ever seen? The funniest mistake I've ever seen was on a lad who came to me and for quite a long time he'd had a tattoo that was supposed to say 'Born To Lose' but actually said 'Born Too Loose'. It cracked me up laughing on the spot. The other classic one was supposed to say 'Mam & Dad' which actually said 'MadDad'.

What's the strangest tattoo you've done? I had a client come down from Scotland to have a huge tattoo on his back and two or three days after we finished it he committed suicide. One of his friends rang me up to tell that he wanted the tattoo done before taking his own life. That a bit grim. He obviously had a lot of issues he couldn't resolve. The tattoo, I suppose, became some sort of suicide note.

Who are your typical clients? We've moved a long way from the misconception that only soldiers, sailors, criminals and drunks get tattoos. That is not the case any more, and hasn't been for a long, long time. I've even done a 'half-sleeve' for my dentist. We both understand the pain threshold thing

Do you like your own tattoos?

Well, for the last three years I've been having most of my own lasered off. But that's only because I intend on having them re-tatooed! Laser treatment involves a very strong pulse of light almost exploding the skin pigment. It breaks them down to smaller particles. The nearest thing I can describe it to is if you got a big elastic band and perpetually whacked it in to someone. Such is the pain threshold that I can only do 15 minutes of laser in any one session.

Are there such things as short life tattoos?

You mean the ones that are supposed to fade away after five years? These are performed with what are known as thinned out pigments. They might disappear after five years. Which is absolute tosh. This myth about vegetable dye being used that will somehow fade is also rubbish. A 'temporary tattoo,' as opposed to a henna tattoo, is actually permanent. It will always be there, it's never going to go away. I bet in most cases people getting this kind of tattoo will have to sign a disclaimer form and in the small print it probably says: "It is possible that after five years the tattoo will still be there." The good news is that a five-minute laser treatment on a small 'temporary tattoo' will often be sufficient to get rid of it.

How did you get started yourself in the world of tattooing?

I’m the only person in my family who has tattoos. I did the first one on myself when I was nine years old with a needle. The ink didn't take properly, but I've still got a little bit of a dot on the back of my hand. Then my first proper one was when I was 14. And at that age - 14 - I knew that I wanted to be a tattooist. It was from that moment all I wanted to do.

Why do you think people like tattoos?

Simple. They like them. They like the image. There's no deeper meaning, even most people with crosses or religious iconography on their skin are not deeply religious or anything. It's like Diego Maradona having one of Che Guevara. I bet he'd have trouble pronouncing his name. The number of people I've had come in my studio who asked for that picture of Fidel Castro in a beret, and they mean Che! It's the image they like, not the meaning most of the time.