Universal just announced that they’re moving forward with Fast and the Furious 4. No wait, that already happened. My bad. Fast and the Furious 5. Because the world obviously needs more Fast, more Furious, more Vin Diesel. Upon hearing this news, I immediately thought of my 18-year-old brother, the only person I know who would be excited to hear this. One of his biggest accomplishments in 2009 was spending over $50 of his limited allowance to see FATF4 in theaters, four times. (Is FATF to teenage dudes what bad rom-coms are to teenage girls? Discuss.) I gave him a call to see how a FATF fan feels about the news that his beloved Vin Diesel/Paul Walker franchise will be back, yet again.

Did you hear there’s going to be a Fast and the Furious 5? Holy shit.

Have you seen 1-4? Yeah, but they all suck besides 1 and 4. 2 and 3 are the worst movies I've ever seen.

What was lacking from 2 and 3? Ja Rule was in the second one and the third had Tyrese, so it was lame. [Big Sister note: Ja Rule was actually in the third and Tyrese was in the second.] The characters sucked, they had no plot, Vin Diesel wasn’t in them.

So that’s the real problem, that Vin Diesel wasn’t in 2 and 3? Basically. Is he in five?

Yes. Then it'll be awesome. I’ll definitely go see it then.

What keeps you a dedicated fan after two bad installments? They’re so far from reality, but exciting to watch and they’re like porn for car enthusiasts.

What do you foresee happening in the plot of FATF5? It’s going to pick up where Tokyo Drift left off. The third one. And the third one is set after the fourth one. It's complicated, you probably need to watch all of them to understand. 2 is 2 Fast 2 Furious and 3 is The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift with that kid from Jarhead.

Do all of your friends watch these movies? Only the cool ones.

Can you give me five adjectives that describe the FATF franchise? Stupid, Awesome, Masculine, Dank, Raw.

Can you compare Vin Diesel and Paul Walker to another on-screen duo? Bonnie and Clyde. Paul Walker is Bonnie. Vin Diesel is the man.

What cinematic aspirations should FATF5 try to live up to? A combination of Rocky, Saw and Harry Potter.

Can you describe how you feel when you finish watching FATF? Fast. Sometimes furious.

Do these movies contribute to road rage? No, just teenage stupidity.